american idol: top 6 perform (a carly comeback)

Hey. Hazim Here...again. I don't normally watch American Idol, but...I mean, I started to at first, but, this season is so boring. Most of the contestants in the top 12 have already had musical careers (albeit failed ones) prior to being on the show. And it kinda spoils the mood for me seeing them pretend to be unknowns. I still update myself every week, but less enthusiastically, like whenever Brooke White takes the stage, I go to the kitchen and whip up some instant noodles. Anyways...despite my apprehensiveness, I did watch it...on YouTube. As in, I watched the individual performances. The top six took on songs from Andrew Lloyd Webber, and so...here's my two cents on their performance.

SYESHA MARCADO: 7/10

Wow. She's bubbly, energetic, and spunky. Better than last week. She sang "One Rock And Roll Too Many". She's better this way. less diva. More dynamite.

JASON CASTRO:2/10

Yikes. Just...yikes. He sang "Memory" like he had needles in his ass. Uncomfortable.

BROOKE WHITE: 2/10

Yikes. part two. She hd to restart her song. She sounded nervous. I liked her in the beginning (her cover of "You're So vain" was awesomeness), but she's becoming paler than she already is. Fading. Fast.

DAVID ARCHULETA: 5/10

Good. Not great. It's weird. Adorable on the outside, but I kinda see an evil robot glint in his eyes (don't you?). His version of "Think of Me".was like what Simon said...pleasant but forgettable.

CARLY SMITHSON: 8/10

Sang "Jesus Christ Superstar". And she SANG it! Kinda shouted it, but I loved it. hated her in the beginning because of the bad publicity and her desperation. But she's an underdog now. And I like underdogs.

P.S Her outfit was cool.

DAVID COOK: 7/10

Pretty good. Not as Daughtry-ish this time around. And thank god. He doesn't look as ego-tistic as usual. "the Music Of The Night" was, in my opinion, a good song choice for him. He coulda done "Don't Cry For Me Argentina". How awesome could that have been?!?

So, uh, props to Carly and David (Daughtry David, not Astro Boy David). I think Brooke will be out. That's all. Hazim. Out.

junk food: i keep playing x men legends 2

Hey. Hazim Here...again.

ONE: I'm crossing my fingers for X Men Legends 3 to come out, because I keep playing X men Legends 2 again and again and again. It's addictive. It's like "OMG. I get to control the Juggernaut!" click here

TWO: i'm still waiting for my cornea transplant for my keratoconus click here

THREE: this is stupid, but it's cute. a singing hamster? come on! who doesn't love that? click here

FOUR: i loved the movie Crash, but Sandra Bullock didn't have to take it literally. click here

album reviewed: ashlee simpson//bittersweet world

GRADE:OOOO
Hey. Hazim Here...again. Her last two albums sucked...hard. I was never a fan of her nasally vocal delivery or her 'woe-is-moi' attitude. Here, the emo-ness is stillpresent, but very much downplayed, making Bittersweet World her best and only good album to date.
WHAT'S GOOD: You can slap all kinds of labels on Jessica's younger sister. Trashy pop tart. Nose job junkie. Whiny ungrateful millionaire. All these would be spot on. It's the shameless negative attributes that draws people to reading about her latest exploits in the tabloids. Here, instead of trying to pretend she's normal 'just-like-us', she cranks up the trashiness we all know she exudes. And by doing that, this album excels. Timbalnd and Pharell do great work on her. Like plastic surgeons, they alter the outside, but the inside's still the same. The new wavey first single "Outta My Head (Ay Ya Ya)" sees her crank and snap at haters with a pouty lip. It's annoying, but it's catchy. Like the rest of the album, you can hate her but you can't get her out of your head, especially when she cops Gwen so evenly on the reggae-infected "Ragdoll" or the shallow nonsensical "Murder" in which she demands that you get a monkey off her back (?).
WHAT'S NOT SO GOOD: Ashlee never had a voice for proper singing, so when she tries too hard on ballads, you sorta cringe listening to her struggle even through synthesizers and Pro-Tools. Maybe her Gwen-copping addiction led her to try and reinvent Gwen Stefani's sweeping masterpiece of a ballad "Early Winter", through her own "Never Dream Alone", but unsurprisingly, she falters.
GRADE:A-. True, she has an identity crisis, trying to mask the emptyness with different personas. But when that emptyness gets the spotlight (the loping sytnh-embedded "Boys"), her superstar only-money-can-buy producers make sure they fill it with 80s pop vibe goodness. Bittersweet World is really just junk food, but at its best, it's actually really good junk food.
SONG YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO: "Boys", "Outta My Head (Ay Ya Ya)"
ARTIST WEBSITE:http://www.ashleesimpsonmusic.com

claymation of the day: obama vs. hilary

hazim & the asymptotes
Hey. Hazim Here...again. I've got this addiction to clay animations, or claymations, or whatever...they're fun! They're cute. I love quirky animation styles. I keep watching Nightmare Before Christmas and James And The Giant Peach over and over again. Corpse Bride was good too. I heart Wallace And Gromit. Anyways, searching and browsing through Youtube, i got this to show. It's a claymation of Hilary and Obama, Debate '08. It's not extremely hilarious or anything, but I kept replaying and replaying the video just to see the part when the Hilary Clay-ton juggles her...ermm, assets. There are two seperate vids, one of Obama. And one of Clinton. Enjoy. I sure did. Hazim. Out.
Barack Obama on why people should vote for her


Hilary Clinton on why people should vote for her

there's this song i like:ashlee simpson-little miss obsessive

Hey. Hazim Here...again. Okay...this is most definitely going to put a smackdown on whatever bit of musical taste-related credibility I have left (after admitting I like Hilary Duff's Dignity album), but...well..ummm...see, there's this new song by pop tart Pinocchio that I actually like. Her name's Ashlee Simpson! Haha...yeah...surprise! This song's already been out for a while, but I just got around to listening to it. And I have to say, it's pretty solid catchy pop rock. The material from Ashlee Simpson's latest album sounds good so far. Too bad it's a commercial failure and all. Tom Higgenson is featured on this. His voice is good, but surprisingly Ashlee also sounds good here. ProTools, synthesizers, digital make-up...whatever. If it sounds good, then it's good. I get kinda disheartened whenever a mainstream artist takes a swipe at something more creative and out-of-the-box and it's a fail (cue Hilary Duff's Dignity or Pink's Try This), but when they just jump in the mainstream and ride the currents with connect-the-dot songs, it's a success (Pink's I'm Not Dead).
Anyways, this is good pop. Here's to me waiting for the video. Anything'll be better than the schizophrenic off the wall video for "Outta My Head". Come on guys...give this song some love! It's not so often Ashlee putts out a good song. Or if this is a good omen...a good album. Hey, who knew Mariah would come back or that Dolly Parton would make another album? Hazim. Out.

my take on the pregnant WHOA-man (story might be made into a movie...don't people remember Junior?

Who knew Wikipedia could have a picture as winning as this?

Hey. Hazim here...again. The pregnant man! Hahaha...I'm kinda obsessed with the story, more so than Oprah could ever hope to be. The guy's name, Thomas Beatie. Was born a female. Got a sex change. Kept the reproductive organs. Fertility. A woman named Nancy. Boom. A child. When I think back to that Arnold Schwartzenegger movie (the one where he gets pregnant) I kinda...squirm. And laugh. The movie was called Junior. it sucked. Bad. But it aged well. It gets a good laugh out of me actually when I watch it now, which was last week. But the idea of a man getting pregnant is sooo weird. Mainly because, to me, a male pregnancy would involve lots of high tech surgeries and advanced scientific procedures to allow for a man to host a baby inside his...womb? But the method this Thomas Beatie resorted to is so...simple.

Thomas Beatie's got nothing on Arnold,yeah?

Be a woman. get a sex change. But keep your eggs. But if you watch Junior, it's got a happy ending with the girl Arnold loves acknowledging that a mother is a mother and father is a father. So it's still gonna be impossible for an man with no female reproductive organs to get preggers. So that means nature is still in full effect. So that means religious nuts can just shut up. Which means I'm pro-pregnancy for this man. I see nothing wrong with it, even though it does make me squirm a bit (it's still bizarre to me, and once the kid is born and is growing up, it's gonna be difficult for her to come to terms with the fact that she was in her father's tummy). Hazim. Out.



PS. Side note though, this pregnant man is milking his pregnancy for all its worth. He's apparently everywhere in the media...clever man...clever man. Anyways, Thomas Beatie's pregancy might come to life on your TV screen, or worse...on the big screen! I don't know how I feel about that, but it makes me hug my Junior video tape even tighter.

Script to be made into a movie:CLICK HERE
Spoof story about a transgender train toy (kinda related):CLICK HERE
Pregnant Thomas Beatie on Oprah:CLICK HERE

This Blog O' Mine

Perez Hilton. Not Hazim.

hazim & the asymptotes
Hey. Hazim Here. Whoa. I have no idea how much time has passed between now (while I'm typing this) and the last time I logged in to my Blogger acount. But it's been a long while, and a lot has happened. I have no idea who's gonna end up reading this, but yeah, I've been busy.
Ack! I hate being busy. It took time away from going online. People actually used to read this blog...so I guess it's time for me start out slow again, and then build momentum. I used to write mostly about celebrities and music. Kinda had it in me that I wanted to be next Perez Hilton and for my blog to be the new Pink Is The New Blog. And then an apple fell down, hit me on the head, and I saw it. Perez is a pig and tabloids are trash...OK, maybe not all of it. For some reason, I still occasionally peep into US Weekly at the magazine store, but my addiciton and "wannabe-ness" isn't as horribly bloated as before. Withdrawal has been going perfectly.
I'm not going to write to impress anymore. I'll just write what I want.
Fashion. Music. Comics. Travel. And Famous Amos cookies.Yes, I'll be all clean now.
I won't bother with world news and politics. Every time I open the newspaper, it's either Bama leading or Britney falling apart.
Anyways, until the next post (which I do know when) this is it for now. I need to decorate my page a little bit more, me thinks. I don't get web codes at all. I'd have more luck getting pregnant than ever getting a hang of htmls and divs and all that. Hazim. Out.

PS. Did you hear the news about the pregnant whoa-man? Of course you have! Everyone has!