bleh bleh

hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. there is this eminent feeling inside of me waiting to come out. Barf. that's what it might be I think. I have been fasting for just fou days but I feel like everyday around 5 pm I am going to vomit everything I ate several hours earlier. This is so weird coming from someone who has been so used to fasting for 21 years of his life. Not all 21 years.
Barf. baf. barf. That's all i feel. i feel sick. You know why? It's the weight. The weight factor's going to drag me down. i was 63 kilograms before but now i am an insignificant 59 kilograms. That's like a featherweight. I remember when I was still taking karate, i was being categorized as above 60 kilograms when it came to sparring. Nowadays, with the irregular eating habits I've been stapled to, I think I might have to lose some weight this month. It's fine. But bulemia might take over. I just want to barf. Like all the time. Again. And again.
This is so weird. haha. Again. i am saying this like I am some sort of robot. This is so cool, but I can't fathom anything else happening to me.
Tomorrow I am going to ask sombody for money. Then I can finally eat properly instead of depending on people to cook for me and feed me. It just feels so desperate.