February 13, 2011
Well…I think Valentines should be more than just about loving your boyfriend and/or girlfriend. You should freakin’ love yourself! It’s really hard to do if you’re not Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie or Alex Pettyfer or Jennifer Lopez or Blake Lively or Tyra Banks or…you get it? Most of the world population don’t have access to top class trainers and the moolah to forge out to hack away that belly fat and salvage what’s left of your jawline.
My aim for this blog entry is a selfish one. I’ll pick apart the things I despise about myself, and I’ll attempt to either find a way to fix it to a standard I can be satisfied with or I’ll just settle for a little positive side to it. I use comparisons and examples of celebrities because the general consensus is that they are perfect and well..they’re not. But it doesn’t make them, and you and I, any less beautiful. Grab your mirror and your thick skin and follow me!
In a world where the white man reigns supreme, it’s hard enough trying to feel like you’re on par with them when you’re Asian, but when you’re slightly darker than the average Malay, it just feels like you’re always gonna be flailing in the lower tiers. Almost every single day of my school life in Malaysia, I was called ‘Nigger’, or ‘Negro’, ‘Black’ or something similar by other boys. I wasn’t the darkest by any means-there were dark skinned Indians-but I was a dark skinned Malay in a sea of tan Malay boys. Coupled with the fact I had to walk 30 minutes in the hot sun and/or pouring rain 5-6 days a week, living in my skin was the equivalent f having a KICK ME sign taped to your back.
MIND FUCK THIS INSECURITY: Take a look at this:
Yes, he’s got a ton of muscle, but he is a beautiful dark skinned man and there are shitloads of dark skinned beauties out there. Iman. MIA (Maya Arulpragasam). Keri Hilson. Rihanna. That Indian guy from Heroes. Maybe it’s part of the Malaysian mindset that dark is not beautiful? I do admit that the Islamic holy book portrays white skinned women as the ideal ‘beautiful’.
I’m not as dark as Iman or Shemar Moore but they are gorgeous and beautiful and inspire me. Being dark isn’t a bane to my existence if I can maintain a smooth and healthy looking complexion, without altering the color. I did use to think I’d need to bleach my skin or get melamine injections. Sunblock before you leave the house. Use umbrellas and hats. Moisturize. Exfoliate. And eat healthy. It sounds like something I got from Oprah, and it might be. The point is, dark skin can be beautiful. You do have to work extra hard to make it look good, but when you do, you’ll be reveling in your own chocolate love.
MINDFUCK IT. [http://www.goherbalremedies.com/blog/how-to-take-care-of-dark-complexion]
At 164 centimeters, or a little over 5 feet, I only need to be Irish to be a leprechaun (I already wear loads of green). I’m even too short to be an air steward. Not that I want to be, but still…it’d be nice to have that option available. I’ll always come across as a little boy to people who don’t know me. Adik. Adik. Adddddiiiikkkkk…that means ‘little brother/sister’ in Malay. It also means that being straight, girls will treat me like a sibling and being gay, I’d always be the ‘submissive’ one.
MINDFUCK THIS INSECURITY: Take a look at this:
Elijah Wood. Is hot. He is also short ladies and gentlemen. So are Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. And Eva Longoria. True, guys have it harder being short than girls but don’t you think Mr. Wood still gets his ‘wood’ on, maybe more than a lot of his taller Lord of the Ring costars?
Height is something you can’t really alter, although I think there is a painful sounding surgical procedure you can go through that involves your spinal chord…ouch. There are lots of ways to make yourself look taller. Don’t go overboard on prints. Wear vertical stripes. Girls have heels and even guys can wear those elevating giraffe shoes which are becoming a little fad 9there is a store for giraffe shoes in Berjaya Times Square). Posture is key. I used to to walk hunchbacked, so people thought I was shorter than the short I already was. Shorties can be sexy too!
MINDFUCK IT. [http://www.gainheight.com/look-taller.html]
A lot of Asians and Africans and South Americans are born with bulbous noses. Round and rotund. A nose job isn’t always an option. My own nose looks straight when I don’t smile, but as soon as I stretch my mouth for a grin, it becomes a silly putty homage to Mr. Potato.
MINDUFCK THIS INSECURITY: Take a look at this.
Yes. Rihanna’s nose isn’t the most bulbous, but it defies what we expect to think of when we think of attractive noses. And don’t deny it. Rihanna is sexy.
A nose job? Don’t. Unless you have done all the research possible and you’re willing to accept the consequences, as well as shoving out money for the operation and the maintenance. Then just love your nose. Take care of the skin on it. Keep the boogers out. There are some exercises you can do involving the bridge of your nose and your fingers that can narrow it slightly, and there’s always that injection I saw on Rachel Ray where they inject the bridge and the effects stay for several months. Hey, we can’t all be born with slender long noses. But don’t pull a Rudolph and make your nose the center of attention then. Make it work for your face. Make up for girls. Exercises for the rest. Start massaging your bridge today! Haha.
MINDFUCK IT. [http://www.wikihow.com/Slim-the-Nose]
A defined jawline and a healthy hairline are signs of youth. We haven’t found the fountain of youth yet, so we can’t avoid the eventual fading of the jawline and hairlines. There are ways to delay the process and tricks to cover it up. I used to like my jawline, but I have been losing it slightly, the sharp edges becoming blunt. I often get into panic mode when I think and worry about how my jaw will look at 30 years old at this rate.
MINDUFCK THIS INSECURITY: Take a look at this.
Yes, yes. Some hot celebrities don’t have jawlines or are losing them with age and some don’t have hair or much of it. There are facial exercises you can do for your jaw to shake off that double chin. Suck in your cheeks. Stretch out that tongue. They work if you’re persistent. It’s about dedication. And even if it does disappear and fade out, I guess it wouldn’t be the end of the world. How much you want that jawline back drives how much you’ll work for it. As for the hairline? There’s always Yun Nam Haircare. It works.
MINDFUCK IT. [http://www.ehow.com/way_5375104_face-exercises-sharpen-jawline.html]
Are you fat? Are you too skinny? Do you hate David Beckham, Megan Fox, and Ryan Reynolds because of those abs, that butt, those thighs, those pecs and so on? I do. I used to be quite muscular but I have been losing weight, major MAJOR weight to the point my arms are quite skinny. I have been eating irregularly and the food I eat is packed with salt and preservatives. Sooo..the solution is simple right?
MINDFUCK THIS INSECURITY: Take a look at this.
Jennifer Hudson! You go, gorgeous girl! How stunning does she look? And it’s not through surgery either. There is a difference between obese and just having extra fat. There is a difference between being anorexic and just being on the skinny side. Check your BMI. Exercise goes a long way. And you don’t need a gym to do it. Jog or do something athletic and strenuous at least twice a week to hike up your metabolism rate slightly. Eat your breakfast. Don’t skip, but eat light dinners. Get enough sleep. Seriously, this has many solutions. People are just picky and they want everything fast. Click fingers. Ta-da…get off that sofa. Stop watching The Biggest Loser and join me for 3 laps at the very least. Fat or skinny. We want tone because it’s hot!
MINDFUCK IT. [http://www.xomba.com/how_tone_your_body_two_weeks]
There you go. There are more insecurities of course, and he ones I listed are the physical ones. But I will admit that when your physical side looks good, it definitely lifts your spirits and confidence up in ways even the happiest Glee episode can’t. We’re not robots. I’m not perfect and so aren’t you…unless Brad Pitt, are you reading this?
-Hazim Haemoglobin-
MOOD: loving myself!
TAGS: hazim haemoglobin, insecurities, loving yourself, celebrities
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