secret revealed: the new britney spears is the old birtney spears!

SONG: "Circus"
ARTIST: Britney Spears
RATING: OOO1/2
hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. Here's a secret revealed about Britney Spears' miraculous comeback, with her "Womanizer" song hitting the number one spot and her album slotted to become her next number one album after selling like 200,000 copies in its first day. She's really...the old Britney from the past time traveling to her future, which is our present! Last year, she looked like the White Queen of trailer trash. This year, she's back to eing the hot girl we saw in the "I'm A Slave 4 U" music video. The secret? Time travel! Yeps. Her new single "Circus" just released has her being all sexy again, from wearing an almost barely there nipple covering black lace bra thingy to giving her trademark come hither glare...it's not as hot as "Womanizer", but Circus is decent enough pop, and catchy enough, to cement her status as the heir to Madonna's derailed throne. And the best part of the music video? The very end when Britney in a sultry sequinned outfit flips her tophat and giggles at the camera. Maybe she IS sane after all...Hazim. Out.

album reviewed: britney spears' bland blender

ARTIST: Britney Spears
ALBUM: Circus
RATING: OO1/2
hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. Noone's had more coverage on ET than Miss Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, the ex-Mrs. Federline releases her sixth studio album , a year after her breakthrough Blackout last year, in an attempt to salvage her image and career.
WHAT'S GOOD: While Blackout was a darker edgier album, Circus strives to be its happier bouncy counterpart, playing on Britney's coyness and whatever is left of her sexiness. This works on album highlight and first single "Womanizer" where repeating the chorus (Womanizer Womanizer Womanizer) again and again like a broken record (what's that to us nowadays? lol) proves to be annoyingly catchy. Britney's at her best being playful with her sexuality as on "Circus" and "Radar" (actually carried over from her last album), not when she's declaring it as on the stupid "Mmm Papi" or the even stupider "If You Seek Amy" which apparently, if you say it fast, sounds like "F-U-C-K Me". How clever. But her personality and self-awareness is most evident and best put to use on the sultry "Blur" which is, despite "Piece of Me", her most autobiographical song to date. It's about waking up not remembering what you did last night, but you what she did. Naughty girl.
WHAT'S NOT SO GOOD: Britney can't sing a note in tune to save her life. And this is way too evident on "My Baby" a song dedicated to her sons. The song is like an untrained dog in your house. Cute but gross. Ballads aren't really her thing, because as sincere the lyrics may be, there's no denying Britney has probably lost touch with what's real and what's tabloid fodder. And you want it to get out. Another major weakness is that the production here feels more like her third self titled album Britney, which has her testing the waters again with the sexy songs. "Shattered Glass" would have been fine in 2001, but now it just feels outdated.
SOOOO0....: Although Miss Spears has had a great comeback so far (her first number one in 10 years with "Womanizer" and three moonmen plus other awards), there's nothing that comes close to an artistic progression here. There are moments when she steps out a bit such as on "Blur" or "Amnesia" (which is not on the US version, and you wish she'd push it a little further. But for the most part, this is safer territory than Dido's latest album. And that's saying something.
Overall, it's good for Britney to try to get her act together and all, but self-aware this album is not. Britney's life may be a circus but she isn't the ringmaster.
THERE'S THIS SONG I LIKE: "Womanizer" "Blur" "Amnesia"
ARTIST WEBSITE: Britney Spears

new tracks up this week: britney loses her memory and kanye goes heartless

hhazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. I've downloaded a lump of songs this week and checked a few others on the internet. People send me links on forums and message boards recommending joints to me...and I decide whether I like them or not! My opinion matters to me. But I think I'm very fair. Unless I'm listening to a Jonas Brothers track. Then it's all death to Nick, Joe, and the other boy. So this time, we've got Kanye with a heartless bitch, Mudvayne being Nickelback, Telekinesis and marine biology, love is all gossiping, and Miss Britney with a pretty solid track.

SONG: "Do What You Do"

ARTIST: Mudvayne

RATING: OO1/2
Mudvayne aren't pop. I usually just keep strictly pop, right? Well, because I DID think their album The End of All Things To Come had promise. That maybe they could move beyond their Nickelback sound and go the Against! Me route. But judging from gruff sound of their latest album and this single, apparently not. You can almost imagine Chad Kroeger's dreadlocks when you listen to it. Listen to it HERE

SONG: "Plankton"

ARTIST: Telekinesis

RATING: OOOO1/2
Michael Benjamin Lerner is still in the process of finishing up his debut album, but he's letting people have a sample of the kind of sound his record would project. Unless you have the Internet Media Grabber, the only place you can listen to "Plankton" is on his MySpace music profile page. I love this track. It's kind of like Coldplay I guess, different than his other songs, but his voice is richer than Chris Martin. And a lot less whiny. This is the song to play Nintendo Wii's Endless Ocean to. Except it's so short (a little over 2 minutes) so you'll have to play it again and again. Listen to it HERE

SONG: "Heartless"

ARTIST: Kanye West

RATING: OOOO
His ego may be his downfall yet. But this track, he second single off his upcoming 808 and Heartbreak is low key thrilling. "Love Lockdown" was great, but to minmal and it pushed his off key singing to the fore, whereas on this one, he actualy raps-the thing he's really good at. I never really warmed up to his last album, but this promises a more clever use of techno bleeps and sounds. Listen to it HERE

SONG: "Rumors"

ARTIST: Love Is All

RATING: OOO1/2
Swedish bands rule! The Hives and Love Is All. Off their fantastic super duper album A Hundred Things That Keep Me Up At Night. This song reminds me of what The Ting Tings could be like if they ditched trying for chart positions and just having fun instead. Great beat. And I'm sure the spelling is the British English "Rumours" but as we know, America trumps even in English. Haha...whatever. If The Raveonettes were still going at it full bore and didn't sound tired, they'd record "Rumors". Listen to it HERE
SONG: "Amnesia"

ARTIST: Britney Spears

RATING: OOOO
Miss Lifestyles of The ich and Famous has had a great comeback so far with a number one hit and three moonmen under her belt in less than three months. This should set the stage for a number one debut for her upcoming album Circus. Except...all the tracks have leaked. Yes. Whether purposely done by her label or an accident, most people who care enough would have probably already heard the whole damn thing. Plus all the bonus tracks. This includes "Amnesia" which has Lady Gaga's influence on it. It's a 50s throwback kind of song, the kind that while not vocally strong (hey, it's Britney) could have been sneaked off Christina Aguilera's Back To Basic's track listing. It's unlike anything else Britney's ever recorded before and most of the things on Circus as well. Except this won't actually BE on that album. Too bad then. Britney reels in her own ditsy persona here, curling words like Fergie and actually sounding like she's having fun. And too bad Circus has to sound like Britney, her third alum's twin in sound and mood. Like she's testing the waters again. Listen to it HERE

old times! it's britney vs. christina again!

hazim and the new asymptotes
hey.hazim here...again. Christina Aguilera has just released "Keeps Getting Better", new song from her upcoming greatest hits album. And Britney Spears' new single from her upcoming sixth studio album Circus called "Womanizer" has just leaked as well. And you know what? They both sound very alike!

So umm, which one do I think is better?

SONG: "Keeps Getting Better"
ARTIST: Christina Aguilera
RATING: OO1/2


Let's see...Christina Aguilera's gunning for a robot vocoded sound now that she's over her retro phase a bit. It's okay, and when she sings "and you'll be lovin' it", she sounds seductive enough to make you forget that she's already got a baby. But then she sings "Next day, I'm a super girl", and you just can't take her seriously. At least i can't. Xtina's always done better on runs and bombast, even minimal ballads but to crouch to Britney's territory is a new low. It's good, but it just doesn't fit her.

SONG: "Womanizer"
ARTIST: Britney Spears
RATING: OOO1/2

Let's see...Britney Spears is having a go at another comeback after her disastrous year under the media spotlight, what with shaved heads and attacking cars with umbrellas and all. This track sounds like "Radar" off Blackout. But she sounds more engaged. This track wouldn't fit in with Blackout's much darker moody undertone, but it's suitable enough for a decent comeback, that is unless Beyonce releases a mind blowing single, which she always does, so....huh. At least she sounds aware of herself this time even though the gazillion times she repeats the title track in the chorus is the equivalent of having a mosquito in your ear.


So.,. I guess I like Britney's more. Cus it's more fun. I can't say I'm a fan of "Keeps Getting Better" with its silly ylrics and all. Let Britney be the android. Xtina, you be the soul. Together, you are ying and yang. Britney wins this time though. Hazim. Out.

so...umm, britney sidekicks the ting tings to win a moonman?

hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. It's very easy for me to root for an underdog because that's what I normally do (like GO TOGO! at the Olympics), and I've been sympathetic with Britney Spears even before her public meltdown and bipolar mess. Recently, like, on the 7th recently, Miss Brit won three moonmen at the MTV Video Music Awards for her music video for "Pice Of Me". I'm all for her making a (second) comeback but this video does NOT beat The Ting Tings' "Shut Up And Let Me Go". That video rocked my socks like sex could never do even if it was with Jennifer Lopez. Anyhow and ways, Britney's sixth album is supposed to come later this year and rumor is that the first single is called "Underground". Now, don't get excited because this information is from Wikipedia, so....yeah. Whatever though. Decide for yourselves which is better. I'll post both videos. The Ting Tings and Britney. I prefer the Ting Tings. That girl in the group looks like Britney anyways. Oh. Oops, I can't embed the video because IT'S FREAKIN DISABLED!!!! Haha. Whatever, catch it on Youtube. People are so lazy nowadays. Hazim. Out.

weekend junk food: jem gets boring. x-tina has a new hit. and britney and justin for "5 Minutes"?

hazim and the new asymptotes

hey. hazim here...again. so, it's a weekend. I need to go and do some work actually. I've got assignments flooding up my free time, and hunger filling up my stomach. Not food. Fasting really is tiring. Anyhow, and ways...

JEM's new song is a boring as fuck, color within the lines, connect the dots, metronome, monotone, snore fest that would make Dido proud. Ick. Listen to it HERE if you must. [Youtube]

WOLVERINE AND THE X-MEN episodes are out, in Spanish, but I'll they'll get pulled from the net soon. Marvel has eyes like Justin Timberlake's got balls. Oh wait.... [Marvel]

The ever elusive miss BRITNEY SPEARS will be recording a duet with JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. Another "5 Minutes" ? Ummm...no? [Telegraph]

Oh, and to complete the triangle, CHRISTINA AGUILERA's got a new song called "Keeps Getting Better". She's all bliss with her baby and all now. She doesn't need to kiss Madonna on stage at an MTV event to make noise. Cus she'll be performing at the 2008 MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS. Britney will be there. No word whether she's performing, but even if she puts ona sock puppet show, it'll be better than last year's mess. [Youtube]

Fufufufu. That's it. Have a good weekend. Hazim. Out.