Who's Hotter? The Dutchess Or The Duchess?

The Duchess Of York VS The Dutchess Fergie

Hey.Hazim here...again. Black Eyed Peas member Fergie and The Duchess Of York have the sam surname, the reason for Fergie naming her first (and hopefully, last) solo album The Dutchess. The album debuts at number three this week on Billboard failing to top Clay Aiken's latest release. Boooooo....So it got me thinking that Fergie with her number one hit single "London Bridge" and Sarah Ferguson, Duchess Of York, being royalty and stuff, who's way hotter? Let's review the stats...
Who's Got More Moolah To Bling?
let's see...Fergie's been in the showbiz since she was a wee little innocent girl who still thought that 'humps' had something to do with camels. So she must have amassed a ton of shit but mid-way to where she is now, she got addicted to Ecstacy and spiraled down a bit, which must have taken some of that shine away.
The Duchess Of York was born, if my math is right, 16 years before Fergie was born. She was born into an arostocratic family so must be a lot of wealth around. I'll bet they gave her gold coins for taking out the garbage and walking the dog.
This Round Goes To:Sarah Ferguson,Duchess Of York
Who Knows Cooler People?
Fergie of BEP is hooked onto LasVegas actor Josh Duhammel and can hook you up with one of the most in-demand producers ight now, will.i.am of her band. The Duchees Of York could poof you up with British royalty and apparently she's a direct descendent of William the Conqueror who was once KIng Of England (get out your history text books) and a big burly man (that's what it says on Wikipedia anyways). So her heritage is pretty cool, but *cough* he's dead so it doesn't really matter.
This Round Goes To:Stacey Ferguson,Black Eyed Peas Member
Who's Got A More Impressive Resume?
Fergie had kickstarted her career with Kids Incorporated and enjoyed moderate success with girl group Wild Orchid. She managed to climb out of drug addiction and became a member of the annoying but successful Black Eyed Peas then hitting the number one spot on Billboard with the single "London Bridge". Clearly, this is impressive except for one thing, having your album debut right under Clay Aiken's CD on the charts.How sad. The Duchess Of York has climbed out of her divorce scandals and became an icon (yeah, maybe) for women by losing weight (Oprah-style), hosted her own talk show (Oprah-style), had a cameo on friends (not Oprah-style), writing cildrens books (more of Madonna's thing) all while keeping close family ties. Oh and she also does charoty....with cameras taking in every kiss she gives a baby. Oh and the Duchess Of York would never let Clay Aiken beat her to the top.
This Round Goes To:Sarah Ferguson,Duchess Of York

SCORE:It's clear Sarah Ferguson,Duchess Of York is the more 'happening' lady. She had a messy divorce, didn't do drugs, and her face is less waxy than Fergie's. She's never recorded a song called 'My Humps' and even though she'll prolly never see her name at the top of the charts (unless she picks up the mic now...it's not too late,Duchess!), she's got more in common with Oprah than Fergie. And everyone bows down to Oprah. So yeah, the hottest Duchess/Dutchest out there is the Duchess Of York! (unenthusiastic) yay...whatever.Hazim.Out.