hazim and the new asymptotes

[BLOG ENTRY 007] mind fucking my insecurities

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 09:16:00 +0000

[BLOG ENTRY 007] mind fucking my insecurities

February 13, 2011

Here’s how things go down every morning. I wake up. I rub my eyes. I yawn. I hobble over to the bathroom sink. I stare at the bathroom mirror. And then I cringe and look away. Sometimes I might even cover my own reflection with a piece of cloth or a towel. If I don’t, then there’s always that chance I’ll start picking apart at my face and my body. I think it’s normal though, right? To acknowledge your imperfections over and over again?

Well…I think Valentines should be more than just about loving your boyfriend and/or girlfriend. You should freakin’ love yourself! It’s really hard to do if you’re not Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie or Alex Pettyfer or Jennifer Lopez or Blake Lively or Tyra Banks or…you get it? Most of the world population don’t have access to top class trainers and the moolah to forge out to hack away that belly fat and salvage what’s left of your jawline.

My aim for this blog entry is a selfish one. I’ll pick apart the things I despise about myself, and I’ll attempt to either find a way to fix it to a standard I can be satisfied with or I’ll just settle for a little positive side to it. I use comparisons and examples of celebrities because the general consensus is that they are perfect and well..they’re not. But it doesn’t make them, and you and I, any less beautiful. Grab your mirror and your thick skin and follow me!

In a world where the white man reigns supreme, it’s hard enough trying to feel like you’re on par with them when you’re Asian, but when you’re slightly darker than the average Malay, it just feels like you’re always gonna be flailing in the lower tiers. Almost every single day of my school life in Malaysia, I was called ‘Nigger’, or ‘Negro’, ‘Black’ or something similar by other boys. I wasn’t the darkest by any means-there were dark skinned Indians-but I was a dark skinned Malay in a sea of tan Malay boys. Coupled with the fact I had to walk 30 minutes in the hot sun and/or pouring rain 5-6 days a week, living in my skin was the equivalent f having a KICK ME sign taped to your back.

MIND FUCK THIS INSECURITY: Take a look at this:

Yes, he’s got a ton of muscle, but he is a beautiful dark skinned man and there are shitloads of dark skinned beauties out there. Iman. MIA (Maya Arulpragasam). Keri Hilson. Rihanna. That Indian guy from Heroes. Maybe it’s part of the Malaysian mindset that dark is not beautiful? I do admit that the Islamic holy book portrays white skinned women as the ideal ‘beautiful’.

I’m not as dark as Iman or Shemar Moore but they are gorgeous and beautiful and inspire me. Being dark isn’t a bane to my existence if I can maintain a smooth and healthy looking complexion, without altering the color. I did use to think I’d need to bleach my skin or get melamine injections. Sunblock before you leave the house. Use umbrellas and hats. Moisturize. Exfoliate. And eat healthy. It sounds like something I got from Oprah, and it might be. The point is, dark skin can be beautiful. You do have to work extra hard to make it look good, but when you do, you’ll be reveling in your own chocolate love.

MINDFUCK IT. [http://www.goherbalremedies.com/blog/how-to-take-care-of-dark-complexion]

At 164 centimeters, or a little over 5 feet, I only need to be Irish to be a leprechaun (I already wear loads of green). I’m even too short to be an air steward. Not that I want to be, but still…it’d be nice to have that option available. I’ll always come across as a little boy to people who don’t know me. Adik. Adik. Adddddiiiikkkkk…that means ‘little brother/sister’ in Malay. It also means that being straight, girls will treat me like a sibling and being gay, I’d always be the ‘submissive’ one.

MINDFUCK THIS INSECURITY: Take a look at this:

Elijah Wood. Is hot. He is also short ladies and gentlemen. So are Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. And Eva Longoria. True, guys have it harder being short than girls but don’t you think Mr. Wood still gets his ‘wood’ on, maybe more than a lot of his taller Lord of the Ring costars?

Height is something you can’t really alter, although I think there is a painful sounding surgical procedure you can go through that involves your spinal chord…ouch. There are lots of ways to make yourself look taller. Don’t go overboard on prints. Wear vertical stripes. Girls have heels and even guys can wear those elevating giraffe shoes which are becoming a little fad 9there is a store for giraffe shoes in Berjaya Times Square). Posture is key. I used to to walk hunchbacked, so people thought I was shorter than the short I already was. Shorties can be sexy too!

MINDFUCK IT. [http://www.gainheight.com/look-taller.html]

A lot of Asians and Africans and South Americans are born with bulbous noses. Round and rotund. A nose job isn’t always an option. My own nose looks straight when I don’t smile, but as soon as I stretch my mouth for a grin, it becomes a silly putty homage to Mr. Potato.

MINDUFCK THIS INSECURITY: Take a look at this.

Yes. Rihanna’s nose isn’t the most bulbous, but it defies what we expect to think of when we think of attractive noses. And don’t deny it. Rihanna is sexy.

A nose job? Don’t. Unless you have done all the research possible and you’re willing to accept the consequences, as well as shoving out money for the operation and the maintenance. Then just love your nose. Take care of the skin on it. Keep the boogers out. There are some exercises you can do involving the bridge of your nose and your fingers that can narrow it slightly, and there’s always that injection I saw on Rachel Ray where they inject the bridge and the effects stay for several months. Hey, we can’t all be born with slender long noses. But don’t pull a Rudolph and make your nose the center of attention then. Make it work for your face. Make up for girls. Exercises for the rest. Start massaging your bridge today! Haha.

MINDFUCK IT. [http://www.wikihow.com/Slim-the-Nose]

A defined jawline and a healthy hairline are signs of youth. We haven’t found the fountain of youth yet, so we can’t avoid the eventual fading of the jawline and hairlines. There are ways to delay the process and tricks to cover it up. I used to like my jawline, but I have been losing it slightly, the sharp edges becoming blunt. I often get into panic mode when I think and worry about how my jaw will look at 30 years old at this rate.

MINDUFCK THIS INSECURITY: Take a look at this.

Yes, yes. Some hot celebrities don’t have jawlines or are losing them with age and some don’t have hair or much of it. There are facial exercises you can do for your jaw to shake off that double chin. Suck in your cheeks. Stretch out that tongue. They work if you’re persistent. It’s about dedication. And even if it does disappear and fade out, I guess it wouldn’t be the end of the world. How much you want that jawline back drives how much you’ll work for it. As for the hairline? There’s always Yun Nam Haircare. It works.

MINDFUCK IT. [http://www.ehow.com/way_5375104_face-exercises-sharpen-jawline.html]

Are you fat? Are you too skinny? Do you hate David Beckham, Megan Fox, and Ryan Reynolds because of those abs, that butt, those thighs, those pecs and so on? I do. I used to be quite muscular but I have been losing weight, major MAJOR weight to the point my arms are quite skinny. I have been eating irregularly and the food I eat is packed with salt and preservatives. Sooo..the solution is simple right?

MINDFUCK THIS INSECURITY: Take a look at this.

Jennifer Hudson! You go, gorgeous girl! How stunning does she look? And it’s not through surgery either. There is a difference between obese and just having extra fat. There is a difference between being anorexic and just being on the skinny side. Check your BMI. Exercise goes a long way. And you don’t need a gym to do it. Jog or do something athletic and strenuous at least twice a week to hike up your metabolism rate slightly. Eat your breakfast. Don’t skip, but eat light dinners. Get enough sleep. Seriously, this has many solutions. People are just picky and they want everything fast. Click fingers. Ta-da…get off that sofa. Stop watching The Biggest Loser and join me for 3 laps at the very least. Fat or skinny. We want tone because it’s hot!

MINDFUCK IT. [http://www.xomba.com/how_tone_your_body_two_weeks]

There you go. There are more insecurities of course, and he ones I listed are the physical ones. But I will admit that when your physical side looks good, it definitely lifts your spirits and confidence up in ways even the happiest Glee episode can’t. We’re not robots. I’m not perfect and so aren’t you…unless Brad Pitt, are you reading this?

-Hazim Haemoglobin-

MOOD: loving myself!

TAGS: hazim haemoglobin, insecurities, loving yourself, celebrities

COMMENTS: [0] comments

bleh bleh

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 07:14:00 +0000

hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. there is this eminent feeling inside of me waiting to come out. Barf. that's what it might be I think. I have been fasting for just fou days but I feel like everyday around 5 pm I am going to vomit everything I ate several hours earlier. This is so weird coming from someone who has been so used to fasting for 21 years of his life. Not all 21 years.
Barf. baf. barf. That's all i feel. i feel sick. You know why? It's the weight. The weight factor's going to drag me down. i was 63 kilograms before but now i am an insignificant 59 kilograms. That's like a featherweight. I remember when I was still taking karate, i was being categorized as above 60 kilograms when it came to sparring. Nowadays, with the irregular eating habits I've been stapled to, I think I might have to lose some weight this month. It's fine. But bulemia might take over. I just want to barf. Like all the time. Again. And again.
This is so weird. haha. Again. i am saying this like I am some sort of robot. This is so cool, but I can't fathom anything else happening to me.
Tomorrow I am going to ask sombody for money. Then I can finally eat properly instead of depending on people to cook for me and feed me. It just feels so desperate.

weirded out and bored stiff by the internet

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 05:50:00 +0000

hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. I don't know why I suddenly post here after a big long fat hiatus, but I still feel like there's nothing much I can do online anymore. Last time, I was sooo active, what with myspace and facebook all hogging up my life time. Now, though, I'm bogged down by assignments and a messy personal life which gets messier with every phone call. Nothing will dampen my spirits though. I wioll try and post at least a couple times a week from now, though I'm not sure who would read after all the breaks but hey, I figured if I can get this thing back up and running, then I can use it to launch my book. Yeps. That's right. I am writing a book. I hope it does well. I just want my voice to be heard. It's a bit autobiorgaphical. It's about a werid boy with an imaginary friend. Haha. laugh. Laugh. Anyways, I will post something later when my mind stumbles across a half-decent idea. Promise. Buh-bye. hazim. Out.

hey hazim here: let's try this blogging thing again, shall we?

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 19:19:00 +0000

hazim and the new asymptotes

hey. hazim here...again after another long hiatus. Anyhow and ways, I've got a pretty steady internet connection and I need a diary where I can put whatever I want whenever I want into words, videos, and pictures. The answer's this blog which I've so long neglected. I used to have quite alot of daily visits from people back when I treated this as mostly a tabloid blog, then I just focused on music, and now, the focus is going to be me. The music'll still be there of course. Can't leave that alone but I need some space to strecth myself and there's plenty of room here whether there's anybody else in the same room as me or not. Hazim. Out.

album reviewed: black lips-200 million thousand

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 19:48:00 +0000

hazim and the new asymptotes
ARTIST: Black Lips
ALBUM: 200 Million Thousand
RATING: OOO
hey. hazim here...again. Black Lips are baaacck...and like a good old dependable fox hound, they're serving the same brand of rock, albeit messier and much more confident. It's almost the same affair as last time, but wait...there's a rap song! This from the band that got kicked out of India recently (pre-Slumdog Millionaire's Oscar win).
WHAT'S GOOD: "The Drop I Hold" holds the most stark contrast when compared to the rest of the album. It's got lead Cole Alexander half-singing, half-rapping drunk-like and droning. The track sounds like a lost Jurassic 5 song and as the album's most drastic turn of artistry, it's also the best moment. The rest of the album holds together like their last album did, lean, tight, and plays on like 5 am when the bar's closing and the guys have their arms on each other singing and swigging with a couplet of creative twists (the rap-infused "The Drop I Hold" and the super power catchy "Short Fuse") that leave you craving for more-beer and songcraft.
WHAT'S NOT SO GOOD: It's slightly irking that aside from the two mentioned tracks, there aren't any surprises and you'd do just as well, maybe better to just play their last album because songs like "Elijah" and "Body Combat" sound calculatedly sloppy and lazy. The album drags at the end, which at 14 tracks long, it's just a bit too much.
SOOOO0....: If you want to introduce yourselves to the "flower punk" that is Black Lips, don't start here. Trying to meet expectations, they stumble short. When they're at their best (as on their last studio album Good Bad Not Evil, they're captivating and friendly but when they're trying too hard, they're forgettable and serious. And with Black Lips, serious isn't fun.
THERE'S THIS SONG I LIKE: "The Drop I Hold" "Short Fuse"
DOWNLOAD LINK: Black Lips-200 Million Thousand

lady sovereign...half dwarf/half insecure intelligent imp?

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 16:02:00 +0000

SONG: "I Got You Dancing"

ARTIST: Lady Sovereign
RATING: OOO

SONG: "So Human"
ARTIST: Lady Sovereign
RATING: OO1/2
hazim and the new asymptotes

hey. hazim here...again. Lady Sovereign couldn't have had a slower climb to moderate success, taking 2-3 years to finally push out an album full of songs that hadn't managed to live past their buzz overdue date. But noone can deny that no female rapper and a lot of male rappers have her speedball slick sick flow. She jitters and padfoots with ease and speed even if the songs aren't spectacular. These two new tracks from her upcoming second album Jigsaw display Lady Sovereign's contrasting sides of her psyche. One's an eager smart mouthed warrior who just wants you to get it on the dance floor (check out the Warriors-esque music video and Warriors-esque makeover). That would be "I Got You Dancin" with its Autotune verses and Thrillerback beats. The other side is a rapping Lily Allen, insecure, outcasted, unsure, dorky, and only too apprehensive of the screw-ups she's bound to make. That would be the The Cure sampling Ting Tings sounding bouncy "So Human". Which side do you prefer? I've already taken my pick.
Hazim. Out.
DOWNLOAD LINK: Lady Sovereign-I Got You Dancing
Lady Sovereign-So Human

Lady Sovereign - I Got You Dancing

Lady Sovereign - So Human

album reviewed: kelly clarkson-all i ever wanted

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 13:25:00 +0000

hazim and the new asymptotes
ARTIST: Kelly Clarkson
ALBUM: All I Ever Wanted
RATING: OO1/2
hey. hazim here...again in a while. Haha... haven't posted much in a three month gap. So I'm busy with lots of things and I decided that I'd post links to albums you could download or single tracks because laziness has become me and seeing as hundreds of other bloggers can do it and not get caught, why not join the party. I'd sure hate to be an artist with me existing...haha. Anyways, this the fourth album from the original American Idol pining for a comeback by reurning to the crackle and pop sound of her second album by getting Swedish hitmaker Max Martin on board.
WHAT'S GOOD: Well, honestly, these songs are all solid pop numbers. The lead single "My Life Would Suck Without You", while still a shameless retread to "Since U Been Gone", is still hooky and catchy like Bird Flu times 2. There's a reason why it made that 97 to number one Billboard Hot 100 jump. People who didn't really like My December's somber emo Evanescence-ish mood and attitude were clamouring for the return of the old Kelly. They get their wish with Breakaway part 2. Less brooding, Kelly's conflicts and powerhouse voice still manage to steal the show as on "Don't Let Me Stop You" and "Longshot" where synths and electronic bleeps ripple underneath giving the guitars a subtle push.
WHAT'S NOT SO GOOD: My December was a determined step to break away than Breakaway ever was and it could have meant a PJ Harvey-like album than Breakaway ever was. Kelly says she was inspired by Garbage, but the only hint of Shirley Manson's influence is "Whyuwannabringmedown" which has Kelly trying out for American Idol semifinals once again amateurishly (can't you tell it's horrible by the title?) and Kelly DOES NOT need to pick Katy Perry's leftovers as she does on "I Do Not Hook Up". Going through the album, you can almost hear grasping at straws for some Breakaway-ish chart success and judging by her latest number one, she might get her wish but at the cost of her credibility, retreating back to well-trodden grounds. Really, Kelly...(shakes head). Oh and the ballds are soggier now.
SOOOO0....: The voice is still there, thank god. Not many pop stars can belt like Kelly, but the basic plodding of the electronic beats dilate both her voice and the spunky determined attitude she often showed on her last two albums. It's predictable pop. Dependable like an old dog. First verse. Chorus.Second Verse. Chorus. Verse. Chorus to fade. But like she sings on "All I Ever Wanted", " we've all been here before..."
THERE'S THIS SONG I LIKE: "Already Gone" "Don't Let Me Stop You"
DOWNLOAD LINK: http://rapidshare.com/files/201792123/09kcaiew.part1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/201794456/09kcaiew.part2.rar

hazim's 103 totally most awesomest songs of 2008!

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 10:33:00 +0000

hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. The end of the year is coming, and I love looking back on the year and thinking of the things I've achieved. So not much for this year. I also love lists. So I decided to use the copious amount of time I had in my hands to conjure up my top 103 songs for this year. Yep. This year. The year in which the long gestating Chinese Democracy came out to no fanfare. he year in which Beyonce finally released a bad album. The year in which be your own pet disbanded and New Kids On The Block reunited. Some things were good (the Saturdays, Rachael Yamagata), some were bad (High School Musical 3, Taylor Swift) and some things were just plain disappointing (Sugababes, Beyonce). But these are my picks for the best. HAZIM's best. That's what's important. Let's go.

1: Telekinesis-Imaginary Friend//Telekinesis

Harmonies like The Beatles. Vocals like the kind Jason Mraz would die for (he overdoes things sooo much). Who really cares if my number one hasn't officially released this song? Micheal Benjamin Lerner seems to like singing in this manner-sunny, smiley, chirpy. But with a knowing wink as he recalls a childhood friend. And while you're busy wondering if there's a deeper hidden meaning beneath "when we got older, we went our seperate ways, and everything got hard", he just doesn't seem to care. That might be why it's no longer on his MySpace page and there's no way you can get it off the internet now. Well, I have it. Hahahaha...LISTEN HERE

2: Santogold-L.E.S Artistes//Santogold

M.I.A suddenly broke out on the charts with last year’s “Paper Planes” storming the charts entering the top 5. Her best friend Santogold just stepped back and straddled the line between mainstream big choruses and underground unpredictability. The cream of her crop is “Artistes”, a march in which she trots out words like leading a horse into battle. Sounds like she designed it for a Nike Ad. But I doubt this M.I.A with melody will ever sell out.LISTEN HERE

3: The Hold Steady-Constructive Summer//Stay Positive

Harmonies like The Beatles. Vocals like the kind Jason Mraz would die for (he overdoes things sooo much). Who really cares if my number one hasn't officially released this song? Micheal Benjamin Lerner seems to like singing in this manner-sunny, smiley, chirpy. But with a knowing wink as he recalls a childhood friend. And while you're busy wondering if there's a deeper hidden meaning beneath "when we got older, we went our seperate ways, and everything got hard", he just doesn't seem to care. That might be why it's no longer on his MySpace page and there's no way you can get it off the internet now. Well, I have it. Hahahaha...LISTEN HERE

3: Estelle feat. Kanye West-American Boy//Shine

British born Estelle has been around on the musc scene longer than most people would think. So if a Best New Artist nomination comes her way in the future, it's right to cry foul. But she's never recorded something as refreshing and funny as the bouncy "American Boy". It's mostly in part due to the presence of producer and guest rapper Kanye West who drops crucial verses and almost steals the show.LISTEN HERE

5: Goldfrapp-A&E//The Seventh Tree

Extreme makeovers don't get as startling as this. Goldfrap's sudden shift from glitter ball glam disco to subdued simplicity took everyone by surprise when this track leaked. Fans thought it could not possibly be that Allison Goldfrapp had traded in her dancing shoes for moccasins, but this transfer was smooth and natural, like the airy way she exhales her words and the her vulnerability glimmering as if she's never recorded a song about sex before..LISTEN HERE

6: Diplo & Santogold-Icarus// Top Ranking: A Diplo Dub

The strings start off the 2 minute song, then Santogold starts her Turkish-like chirping, half Turkish-like chanting, half whisper, and the beat stays steady. Then M.I.A falls over.LISTEN HERE

7: Cut Copy-Lights And Music//In Ghost Colours

Australia's Cut Copy punted an album full of breathtaking dance electro pop you could play on the radio and bob your head along in the car on the way back from the club. This is the mantle piece that is the kind of pop you dream Portishead would try and make sometime when they're not busy moping. The chorus draws you in and Dan Whitford suggestively sings "tell me what you want, for your birthday" and the fact that this song is used in the Fifa video game doesn't hurt its coolness factor either.LISTEN HERE

8: Damien Jurado-Sheets//Caught In The Trees

Bitter love songs don't get much more bitter than "Sheets". Damien Jurado's most gut wrenching work of art off Caught In The Trees blows over like a Damien Rice who's skipped way too many therapy sessions and has been living in solitary confinement for way too long. He plods along, wailing like an injured animal, the steady beat puncturing his yelps. And while he's recounting the fact that he's on the same sheets is ex cheated in, the song exhausts itself. Anger never sounded so sad.LISTEN HERE

9: The Streets-The Escapist//Everything Is Borrowed

Few rappers even come close to copping Mike Skinner's sharp tipped tongue full of intellectual whip and the power of observation (Lupe Fiasco comes close I guess, but he's not exactly white. Give him a few years though). This track off Everything Is Borrowed floats on with a chorus drawing inspiration from inspiration itself to lift you higher...higer...like gospel, if it were hip and white. Eminem. Take notes. LISTEN HERE

10: Of Montreal-ID Engager//Skeletal Lamping

Kevin Barnes sounds like a pervert actually. But even perverts have a place in this world. And he and his band who are totally not from Montreal at all lace tenth on this list with their version of what a high pitched riddled dance floor burner should sound like. You can imagine the roller skates. And the flirty girls with feathered hair. And Donna Summers bobbing her head along. Sh'es still alive now so she's probabaly doing it....LISTEN HERE

11: Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown-No Air//Jordin Sparks
In which two of teen pop's most prominent stars of 2008 run out of oxygen and balloon this duet with as much drama as their teenage lungs can suffice. LISTEN HERE

12: Shugo Tokumaru-Parachute//Exit
Japan's shoegazing samurai dreams of a holiday and chirps the word like he's high on sushi over beats that skip like rocks on water. LISTEN HERE

13: Fleet Foxes-Ragged Wood//Fleet Foxes
Another beautiful track serenade courtesy of music historians who aren't really foxes.. LISTEN HERE

14: Annuals-Such Fun//Such Fun
LISTEN HERE

15: Dar Williams-It's Alright//Promised Land
Sheryl Crow with a personality, Dorothy Snowden Williams tries to reassure herself that it's...alright. LISTEN HERE

16: Damien Jurado-Go First//Caught In The Trees
. LISTEN HERE

17: The Saturdays-Up//Chasing Lights
Down with Sugababes. Out with Girls Aloud. And up with color coded The Saturdays, the best British girl group named after a day of the week. LISTEN HERE

18: Isl;and-Creeper//Arm's Way

The guitars talk and tiptoe like some Pink Panther episode. And he whispers like someone's really in the house, and he's there holding a knife or crowbar ready to strike, cold sweat, in anticipation.

19: Young Jeezy-Circulate//The Recession
Over big band horns and clashing drums, Jay Jenkins reveals his inner Obama for some political sniping, trading verses with an unknown falsetto. LISTEN HERE

20: Rachael Yamagata-Sidedish Friend//Elephants...Teeth Sinking Into Heart
Missus of Misery gets all snarly and bares her teeth on her most aggressive track to date, about friends too embarrassing to hang out with in public. LISTEN HERE

21: Deerhoof-Numina O//Offend Maggie
LISTEN HERE

22: Lindsay Lohan-Bossy//Spirit In The Dark
In between getting mauled by the paparazzi, derailing her father, and snogging Samantha Ronson, Ms. lohan found time to declare her supremacy and dominance in the bedroom over a vibrater of a beat-penned no less by NeYo. LISTEN HERE

23: Human Highway-What World//Moody Motorcycle
In which the Islands' singer contemplates about rotten food and asks for your permission to borrow your feelings on this plodding pop number about misunderstanding.
LISTEN HERE

24: Frightened Rabbit-The Modern Leper//
It plucks slowly in the beginning..sounding harmless at first, then Scott Hutchinson starts this wretched gut wrenching about cripples and how, anyone in the world, could ever love him. The ultimate anthem for insecurity. LISTEN HERE

25: Okkervil River-Pop Lie//The Stand Ins
With impeccable vocals, and a chorus more contagious than chicken pox, Okkervil River make like toned up kaiser Chiefs singing about men and lies. You know you're lying if you sing along..... LISTEN HERE

26: Conor Oberst-I Don't Want To Die (In A Hospital)//Conor Oberst
Indie pop's skinny poster boy uses his scarily thin arms to pluck his guitar along to this track never to be played in the surgery room.
. LISTEN HERE

27: The Veronicas-Untouched//Hook Me Up
Over a jittery anxious electronic-driven beat and some monstrous violin sawing, Australia's premier pop star twins get all la-la-la-Lust. LISTEN HERE

28: N.E.R.D-Spaz//Seeing Sounds

Pharell finally comes to his sense and comes together with N.E.R.D to release Seeing Sounds, fresher and funkier than their last. The highlight is Spaz-. In which Pharell gets all Beastie Boy-ish over loping bass and percussion.

29: Goldfrapp-Happiness//The Seventh Tree
Copy catting Patrick Wolf for their music video doesn't stop this song from being a melancholic treat that sounds like strawberry weed.. LISTEN HERE

30: Solange Knowles-Sandcastle Disco
While big Sis was busy battling an identity crisis, little sister Solange delves deeper into her own quirky world and carves out a crackling joint about castles made of disco. LISTEN HERE

31: Black Kids-I'm Not Going To Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance//PartyTraumatic
LISTEN HERE

32: Lil Wayne-A Milli//The Carter III
The word "A Milli" being repeated approximately 12i423478623894234 times serves as the foundation for this further celebration of Lil Wayne's weirdness and further proof that life is unfair. This should have topped the charts-not "Lollipop"..LISTEN HERE

33: Death Cab For Cutie-I Will Posses Your Heart//Narrow Stairs
Ben Gibbard borrows Alex Kapranos' dancing shoes for some foot tapping moaning with melody-about a girl who won't spend time with him.LISTEN HERE

34: Santogold-Lights Out//Santogold
2008's best breakout does a Tegan & Sara song better than Tegan & Sara ever did..LISTEN HERE

35: Fujiya & Miyagi-Knickerbocker//Lightbulbs
Featuring dance music's most oddball couple not named Danger Mouse or Cee-Lo, comes a thud thumping shake 'em track about ice cream sprinkled with ridiculous rhymes ("Knickerbocker rhymed with a dead former child star) and a spastic spare vocal delivery of a cherry on top. And the way 'vanilla, strawberry, knickerbocker glory" is repeated again and again is ridiculous, but sooo hypnotic.

36: Portishead-Machine Gun//Third
Queen of Gloom Beth Gibbons tumbles over their lead single like she's in a dark cellar with no sunlight. No sunlight at all.. LISTEN HERE

37: Gabriella Cilmi-Swet About Me//
Australia's less nasty, less haired version of Am,y Winehouse gets her weave on with a warning to boys that there's nothing sweet about her-despite the fact that she looks like an avid Hello Kitty merchandise collector. LISTEN HERE

38: Love Is All-Rumours//A Hundred Things Keep Me Up At Night
LISTEN HERE

39: Pivot=Pursue//O Soundtrack My Heart
.LISTEN HERE

40: Amadou & Mariam-Sabali//Welcome To Mali
.LISTEN HERE

41: All American Rejects-Gives ou Hell//When The World Comes Down
Tyson Ritter ditches and disses a girl with his messagl-don't mess with famous people. They will write Billboard hits about how much you suck.LISTEN HERE

42: Chairlift-Evident Utensil//Does You Inspire You?
The most common writing stationery gets its shine on from a pop outfit who can't tell whether they're really singing about a pencil or if there's a hidden metaphor hidden beneath.LISTEN HERE

43: Pussycat Dolls-When I Grow Up//Doll Domination

A failure of a solo album. A flop of a reality show. Reveling in their own shallowness, the girls, that is Nicole and some other women who look like men, grind and bump on the perfect anthem for all the shallow girls who want to be famous and like to post pictures up on their MySpace and spend everyday pretending that they're wanted just beause they have 10000000 'friends' on their friend list.

44: Ra Ra Riot-Ghost Under Rocks//The Rhumb Line
Although the music sometimes verges on sounding something close to 30 Seconds To Mars, Ra Ra Riot manage to march it and turn it into something Travis could be, if they never got their heads checked LISTEN HERE

45: Vivian Girls-Such A Joke//Vivian Girls
Laugh all you want, but once the drum beats drop and the guitars start pounding your eardrums, you realize that you miss The Vines' old good days and that they're the next best thing. And the joke is on you. LISTEN HERE

46: Jenny Lewis-Acid Tongue//Acid Tongue
Leaving Rilo Kiley and The Watson Twins behind for a second solo outing, Miss Lewis sheds her good girl image in favor for some nasty business. LISTEN HERE

47: Tilly And The Wall-Pot Kettle Black..//o
.LISTEN HERE

48: Drive By Argument-Sex Lines Are Expensive Comedy//Drive By Argument
.LISTEN HERE

49: Juana Molina-Un Dia//Un Dia
.LISTEN HERE

50: Little Jackie-The World Should Revolve Around Me//The Stoop
Imani Coppola's latest attempt at recapturing fame has her teaming with a boy toy and demanding that everyone panders to her preferences. Too bad the charts didn't bey her.LISTEN HERE

51: Hercules & Love Affair-Blind//Hercules & Love Affair

Over pulsating throbbing disco Kylie would be proud to whine over, Hercules & Love Affair make like cabaret singers in a disco full of people looking for the one to be the one.

52: Kasey Chambers & Shane Nicholson-Sweetest Waste f Time//Rattlin' Bones
LISTEN HERE

53: Attic Lights-Walkie Talkie//Friday Night Lights
. LISTEN HERE

54: Antony & The Johnsons-Another World//Another World EP
LISTEN HERE

55: Beyonce-Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)// I Am...Sasha Fierce
Miss B flaunts her ring and her chops for drama and bombast on this bouncy married girl power anthem
.LISTEN HERE

56: Kanye West-Heartless/808s and Heartbreak
The biggest ego in the galaxy discovers it takes Auto Tune and some messy emotions to realize that he IS after all, human.
.LISTEN HERE

57: My Brightest Diamond-Ice And The Storm//A Thousand Shark's Teeth
.LISTEN HERE

58: Max Tundra-Will Get Fooled Again//Parallax Error Beheads You
.LISTEN HERE

59: Mogwai-BatCat//The Hawk Is Howling
.LISTEN HERE

60: Bloc Party-Mercury//Intimacy
.LISTEN HERE

61: Bon Iver-Skinny Love//For Emma, Forever Ago
.LISTEN HERE

62: be your own pet-Super Soaked//Get Awkward
Teenage punk darlings turn fizzy and get wet, speeding up the guitars to match Jemina Pearl’s heated yelps. They may be broken up now but it was great while it lasted.LISTEN HERE

63: Abe Vigoda-Skeleton//Skeleton
LISTEN HERE

64: Blitzen Trapper-Furr//Furr
.LISTEN HERE

65: Britney Spears-Womanizer//Circus
She’s not bald. The abs are toned again. And her annoyingly catchy song featuring a repetitive chorus in which the word “Womanizer” is repeated 9 times goes straight to number one. Britney;s back bitch!LISTEN HERE

66: Parenthetical Girls-Young Eucharists//Entanglement
.LISTEN HERE

67: Meiko-Boys With Girlfriends//Meiko
Sunny breathy guitar twanging lament about the problem with boys from a singer songwriter who could teach sloshy wannabe Colbie Caillait a thing or two-about singing and songwriting
.LISTEN HERE

68: Ashlee Simpson-Outta My Head (Ay Ya Ya)//Bittersweet World
Mrs. Wentz gets experimental with Gwen style weirdness and 80s Cyndie Lauper stutter pop. Surfaces with a dance song so hollow it’s fun. This earned her some credibility. Then she had a baby named Mowgli..LISTEN HERE

69: Counting Crows-You Can't Count On Me//Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings
.LISTEN HERE

70: Jack White & Alicia Keys-Another Way To Die//OST Quantum Of Solace
Sure, the movie was aces ore terrible than Die Another Day, but that doesn’t stop the King of Weird garage Rock to build up a wall of noise even the queen of Piano Driven Power R&B can’t shout down.

71:Eliza Carthy-Two Tears//Dreams Of Breathing Underwater
LISTEN HERE

72: Kry-Murder
MySpace unknown makes like drugged up lauryn Hill high on revenge and strawberry weed, with a message-if she can't have him, no one can. LISTEN HERE

73: Duffy-Warwick Avenue//Rockferry
The best thing from Wales since….I don’t know-cries her heart out over simple subtle plucky Norah Jones-esque blues and soul
LISTEN HERE

74: Matthew Sweet-Burn Through Love//Sunshine Lies
.LISTEN HERE

75: Los Campesinos!-We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed//We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed
.LISTEN HERE

76: Lykke Li-Dance Dance Dance/Youth Novels
Over what sounds like drumsticks clicking, the Jewel voiced Swede channels her inner Feist discovering that "she was a dancer all along" over see-sawing violins.LISTEN HERE

77: Brazilian Girls-Good Times//New York City
Imani Coppola's latest attempt at recapturing fame has her teaming with a boy toy and demanding that everyone panders to her preferences. Too bad the charts didn't bey her.LISTEN HERE

78: The Last Shadow Puppets-All My Mistakes Were Made For You//The Age Of Understatement
Alex Turner ditches his fellow monkeys and teams up with The Rascals’ Miles Kane to chalk up a storming ode to love.Love their ridiculously thick British accents and love their hair. Love their Travis-sounding guitar strumming and vocals. And when it comes to razor sharp observant lyrics, only Bob Dylan could light a candle to the Turner.

79:TV On The Radio-Halfway Home// Dear Science
LISTEN HERE

80: Aimee Mann-
Laugh all you want, but once the drum beats drop and the guitars start pounding your eardrums, you realize that you miss The Vines' old good days and that they're the next best thing. And the joke is on you. LISTEN HERE

81: TV On The Radio-Crying//Dear Science
LISTEN HERE

82: Grace Jones-Devil In My Life//Hurricane
Queen of sexual fierce gets contemplative, records the theme song for THe Weather Channel. .LISTEN HERE

83: Flying Lotus-Golden Diva//Los Angeles
When Steven Ellison produces, he serves his clients well. When he dons the Flying Lotus cape, he’s uninhibited and unhinged, especially in his sampling of electronic hooks. It’s like Alka-seltzer and cereal, “Golden Diva” thunders on. You can’t understand what’s going on, but you know it’s remarkable.

84:Cats In Paris-Foxes//Courtcase 2000
They're not cats. They're not from France. But they make great unpredictable gleaming crackling pop-tronica. LISTEN HERE

85:Katy Perry-Hot N Cold//One Of The Boys
Bloggers' staple and the success breakout story of the year kisses girls, thinks you're so gay, and here on this Cher inspired power pop cherry, gets all hot..and cold. LISTEN HERE

86: Sonya Kitchell-Soldier's Lament//This Storm
LISTEN HERE

87: Metro Station-Shake It//Metro Station
Proof that being related to Miley Cyrus doesn't always mean you have to put out crappy undanceable music.LISTEN HERE

88:Hot Chip-Ready For The Floor//Made In The Dark LISTEN HERE

89:Keane-Spiraling//Perfect Symmetry
Who knew Tom Chaplin had dancing shoes, a glitter ball, and a fetish for new wave over piano hiding in his closet? LISTEN HERE

90: Fleet Foxes-White Winter Hymnal//Fleet Foxes
Beautifully sung by Robin Pecknold. Beautifully strung along by the band from Seattle. Beautifully arranged. Never mind that the lyrics are dark and a bit seething. This song is just beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. Like you’re stranded on a glacier on a mountain in Alaska. It’s bleak, but everything, the scenery, the soundscape is just so…beautiful

91:Dido-Grafton Street//Safe Trip Home
Brian Eno carves out some spare tribal beats and his trademark orchestral backdrop to help Dido serenade her deceased father with a six minute shrine featuring...a recorder solo. LISTEN HERE
92:My Morning Jacket-I'm Amazed//Evil Urges
. LISTEN HERE

93: Coldplay-Viva La Vida//Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends
Appl'es father may or may not have copped this from Satriani for the best Coldplay track since "Yellow" but no one can deny he sings his "I Am The Greatest" vocals better than Satriani ever could. LISTEN HERE

94: Juliana Hatfield-My Baby...//How To Walk Away
Blake Babies' old but still good Juliana Hatfield gets infected with the blues and twangs along to an ode to...les enfants? .LISTEN HERE

95:High Places-The Storm//The Storm
LISTEN HERE

96:Marnie Stem-Prime//This Is It & I Am It & So Is That & He Is It & She Is It & It Is It & That Is That
Featuring the best cheerleading chant of 2008 and an ADD affected pop sprite spitting it. LISTEN HERE

97: will.i.am-It's A New Day//Songs About Girls
The Black Eyed Pea tones down the clumsy lines for some celebration. The message? Obama is here. Have no fear. LISTEN HERE

98: The Ting Tings-Shut Up And Let Me Go//We Started Nothing
Britain's noisiest new duo have a seizure and Katie White gets all pouty and pretty about a break up. Check the Matrix brain drain music video. LISTEN HERE

99:Cold War Kids-Mexican Dog//Loyalty To Loyalty
The opening note fools you into thinking that they have produced another "Hang Me Up To Dry", but then as Nathan Willet injects his signature yelping with more snark and the music switches between a lost James Bond theme and a piano paddled strut, you realize "Mexican Dog" is a whole new animal. LISTEN HERE

100:Lady Gaga feat. Colbie O-Donnis & Akon-Just Dance//The Fame
A love song to her own sluttiness and shallowness, Lady Gaga teams up with teen humper Akon for this club banger, glorifying the moment when you're so drunk you've lost your phone, you're turning your shirt inside out, and you don't remember what club you're in. LISTEN HERE

101: Madonna-Miles Away//Hard Candy

In 2008 Madge returned with Timbaland/Lake in tow and the sour Hard Candy. As cool as Timbaland's so called futuristic soundscapes were on the likes of Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake, they were as complimentary with Madonna as grape jelly and caviar. This track however showed Madonna's heart peeking through its hard cold cage to find an insecure Madonna tried of her long distance relationship. The fact that she split with Guy Ritchie the Bitchie (I couldn't help it) only makes this more genuine.

102:The Faint-The Geeks Were Right//
Good Charlotte tried to go the dance route on their last album, but their inability to envelop whatever cool factor they had saw them punt out another poor selling album full of flops. But The Faint show them how to do it right, accompanied by a dizzy nauseating music video not designed for schizophrenics.
LISTEN HERE

103:Sigur Ros-Gobbledigook//
The two best things from Iceland are Bjork and Sigur Ros. And one of them released a great album this year. While it's not a blatant attempt at mainstream success, the song comes pretty close with its 3 minute radio ready length to the bouncy melody, Sigur Ros have never sounded more radio friendly (albeit in another language) and they're all the better for it. Next up, an ad campaign with Nivea. LISTEN HERE

the best two songs on Beyonce's terrible new album!

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 08:08:00 +0000

hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. Ooohh...I can't even tell you how much Beyonce's I Am...Sasha Fierce album sucks goat balls. If you want to do a double album, do it well ( a la Rachael Yamagata), don't rush it out (a la Foo Fighters). Splitting her personality into two: one is the emotional heartfelt Beyonce, and the other, the fierce Sasha...ermmm Fierce, Beyonce only makes a fool of herself in this day and age of downloading. As bad as most of the songs are, there are two that I like, maybe even love. And one of them I love even more than most of her previous singles.

SONG: "Radio"
ARTIST: Beyonce

RATING: OOOO
"I be on the hotline, like everyday," Beyonce starts off the song like a gun firing off, and the stuttering techno r n' b backdrop starts pouring and multiple Beyonce's jab at the airwaves with a chorus of "O O Ohs". She's in heat. She's in love, but not with a boy. Boys just break her heart as demonstrated with "Irreplaceable" and "If I Were A Boy"...no. She's in love with her radio. And judging from the way Miss Knowles curls her words and struts on this potential single, she should have fallen in love with her radio more often for her record.

SONG: "Halo"
ARTIST: Beyonce

RATING: OOO1/2
Leona Lewis has sung it, and you can find her version of it on Youtube. But she can't sing it as well. Most of the time that girl doesn't know what's emotion. RyanTedder of One Republic wrote it. But he an't bring this glowing ballad down. The piano is lovely. Beyonce's voice is velvet and heartfelt. And you can already imagine an arena full of people (gay boys and baby mamas unite!) handclapping and stifling back tears as they absorb Beyonc'es best vocal performance to date in the form of the emotional stunner that is "Halo". Only problem is, every time they, and I, hear this, I'll have to imagine Jay Z's face. Cus, you know, that's who she's singing to. Great love song.

new tracks up this week: Fujiya & Miyagi go all Kylie and Eminem returns (do YOU care?)

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 04:53:00 +0000

hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. It's a Selamat Hari Raya to you too! Feels weird cus it's supposed to feel celebratory and everything, but I just kinda stayed at home. family ties are on the verge of collapsing, so my mother won't call her sister up and my aunts are bickering with each other chickens in a cage. Sigh....the holidays. But to cheer myself up I took a listen to a few new tracks this week, namely Eminem's new one, which has leaked...and sucks. And Justice (whoo!) and my gal Sophie EllisBextor. Let's go...

SONG: "Sex Ads"

ARTIST: Cold Cave

RATING: OOO
New arrivals on the music scene, Cold Cave serve up fuzzy wuzzy grizzly electronica rock infused with lyrical goodness. It opens with something that sounds like a transistor radio out of tune and you can barely make out the vocals, but once you accept that that's all part of the learning experience and that this song would be great remixed by Justice (who have a similar song called "Waters Of Nazareth") and spun at a rave, you kinda get into it. They'd be pretty terrible live playing "Sex Ads" though. Cold Cave. Band to watch out for...not watch live. Haha...Listen to it HERE
SONG: "Number One"

ARTIST: Eminem

RATING: OO
Mr. Marshall has had an impressive career earning Grammys and credibility with self-empowerment anthems ("Lose Yourself" "Sing For The Moment"), sad laments ("Stan"), and mostly anger fueled joints imed at either Kim or his mother. Lately though, he's been hiding (kinda) Well, this song I don't think it'll get him back on top). It just drones on and on with Eminem throwing out lines that even Nick Cannon would reject. And that's saying something. Listen to it HERE
SONG: "Sore Thumb"

ARTIST: Fujiya & Miyagi

RATING: OOOO
Their track "Knickerbocker" should be a contender for song of the year. This is another winning single from their album Lightbulbs which has got them smarter, sharper, and funkier. "Sore Thumb" starts off slow-ish...you know what? this track totally reminds me of Kylie Minogue's "Love At First Sight", slow pulsating, and the video bits where they've got the black and white third grade geometry inspired background is reminiscent of Kylie's video as well. I will admit, though, as sexy as the track sounded when I first heard it, it's much less sexy now that I've seeen the video. listen to it HERE
SONG: "Planisphere Final"

ARTIST: Justice

RATING: OOO
Everyone knows "D.A.N.C.E" the genius of a dance pop number bu Justice, even if they don't know the band who made it. And the video's idea for it was copped for Kanye West's "The Good Life", further proof the dude isn't so original. Here they are with a cut that did not make it for the Dior Homme 2009 Fashion Show (the other parts of Planisphere made it). As jumpy and jittery the other parts are, they are nothing compared to this blast of a piece. The track starts off like the beginning to an old Chinese drama..haha...but then it gets its beat thumping after a minute and a half. They've got a documentary called A Cross The World out which you should check, as well as this pulsating Western-soundtrack sounding number. Listen to it HERE
SONG: "Heartbreak Make Me A Dancer"

ARTIST: Sophie Ellis Bextor

RATING: OOOO
Her fantastic third album Trip The Light Fantastic got much love and praise from critics but didn't really garner Sophie Ellis Bextor any new fans, judging from its poor showing on the charts. The next album should see her attempting the same commercial success her first and vapid second album achieved in the UK. This track, apparently, is NOT going to even be on that album albeit initial speculation that it would. The first single will be called "Sophia Loren" and my excitement for it is just BIG. But this song called "Heartbreak Make Me A Dancer" returns her to her basic dance throb roots of her first album a la "Murder On The Dance Floor". That's not a bad thing. It's pretty amazing in fact because from the first line, you can easily detect her British accent and from then on, you're lost in the Sophie Disco. Listen to it HERE

secret revealed: the new britney spears is the old birtney spears!

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 13:25:00 +0000

SONG: "Circus"
ARTIST: Britney Spears
RATING: OOO1/2
hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. Here's a secret revealed about Britney Spears' miraculous comeback, with her "Womanizer" song hitting the number one spot and her album slotted to become her next number one album after selling like 200,000 copies in its first day. She's really...the old Britney from the past time traveling to her future, which is our present! Last year, she looked like the White Queen of trailer trash. This year, she's back to eing the hot girl we saw in the "I'm A Slave 4 U" music video. The secret? Time travel! Yeps. Her new single "Circus" just released has her being all sexy again, from wearing an almost barely there nipple covering black lace bra thingy to giving her trademark come hither glare...it's not as hot as "Womanizer", but Circus is decent enough pop, and catchy enough, to cement her status as the heir to Madonna's derailed throne. And the best part of the music video? The very end when Britney in a sultry sequinned outfit flips her tophat and giggles at the camera. Maybe she IS sane after all...Hazim. Out.

lily allen's phobia which i'm sure everyone can relate to...rolls eyes

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 14:03:00 +0000

SONG: "The Fear"
ARTIST: Lily Allen
RATING: OOO1/2
hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. Aaaaah! I heart Lily Allen so much it hurts! She's got plenty of snark, snide, and smarts to offer up in her debut album Alright, Still which spawned the ex-boyfriend bashing "Smile", the sunny but devious undertoned "LDN" and the hilarious "Alfie". This track from her upcoming album is another slice of poppy preppy goodness from a girl who does sly and cunning better than Katy Perry. This song's called "The Fear" and uh...it's about her phobia of fame and the fakeness it embodies. Song's catchy enough. But I doubt everyone can relate to having lots of diamonds and being scared of being famous (especially all those unknown myspace bands so desperate to be famous). Fame is something today's teenagers are dying to achieve. So to admit to being scared of it when you already have it is very umm...weird. But I like it. So go Lily! LOL. Hazim. Out.

hey hazim here...it's my birthday!

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 19:24:00 +0000

hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. It's my birthday! I turn 20 by the way. Feeling a little old actually. Scared to get a duble chin and experience menopause. Ick. Gerascophobia's getting to me. LOL. I'll have a good birthday hopefully yeah? Hazim. Out.

album reviewed: britney spears' bland blender

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 16:20:00 +0000

ARTIST: Britney Spears
ALBUM: Circus
RATING: OO1/2
hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. Noone's had more coverage on ET than Miss Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, the ex-Mrs. Federline releases her sixth studio album , a year after her breakthrough Blackout last year, in an attempt to salvage her image and career.
WHAT'S GOOD: While Blackout was a darker edgier album, Circus strives to be its happier bouncy counterpart, playing on Britney's coyness and whatever is left of her sexiness. This works on album highlight and first single "Womanizer" where repeating the chorus (Womanizer Womanizer Womanizer) again and again like a broken record (what's that to us nowadays? lol) proves to be annoyingly catchy. Britney's at her best being playful with her sexuality as on "Circus" and "Radar" (actually carried over from her last album), not when she's declaring it as on the stupid "Mmm Papi" or the even stupider "If You Seek Amy" which apparently, if you say it fast, sounds like "F-U-C-K Me". How clever. But her personality and self-awareness is most evident and best put to use on the sultry "Blur" which is, despite "Piece of Me", her most autobiographical song to date. It's about waking up not remembering what you did last night, but you what she did. Naughty girl.
WHAT'S NOT SO GOOD: Britney can't sing a note in tune to save her life. And this is way too evident on "My Baby" a song dedicated to her sons. The song is like an untrained dog in your house. Cute but gross. Ballads aren't really her thing, because as sincere the lyrics may be, there's no denying Britney has probably lost touch with what's real and what's tabloid fodder. And you want it to get out. Another major weakness is that the production here feels more like her third self titled album Britney, which has her testing the waters again with the sexy songs. "Shattered Glass" would have been fine in 2001, but now it just feels outdated.
SOOOO0....: Although Miss Spears has had a great comeback so far (her first number one in 10 years with "Womanizer" and three moonmen plus other awards), there's nothing that comes close to an artistic progression here. There are moments when she steps out a bit such as on "Blur" or "Amnesia" (which is not on the US version, and you wish she'd push it a little further. But for the most part, this is safer territory than Dido's latest album. And that's saying something.
Overall, it's good for Britney to try to get her act together and all, but self-aware this album is not. Britney's life may be a circus but she isn't the ringmaster.
THERE'S THIS SONG I LIKE: "Womanizer" "Blur" "Amnesia"
ARTIST WEBSITE: Britney Spears

pink gets sober, has sex with herself

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 16:20:00 +0000

SONG: "Sober"

ARTIST: Pink
RATING: OOO

hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. I didn't like Pink's "So What" so much, even though the charts were very kind to her (her very first number one hit in the US and another one for her in the UK). And the album Funhouse is neither different than her last album nor very fun. Most of the songs deal with her split from her ex-husband Carey Heart (who has cool hair by the way). Wearing her heart on her sleeve again, she dishes on being sober called..."Sober". The song is a solid piece of pop. Nothing special. Nothing unique. Then it should do well on the charts, no? The video, though, is something special. Shot in Stockholm, Sweden, the scenario has Pink in a Gwen Stefani get up in an all white room and Pink on a hotel bed in fishnets HAVING SEX WITH HERSELF. Yes. I kept rewinding back to the part where she gropes her own ass. And if you want to see two Pinks kissing, then this is the video for you. This should have been the video to "I Kissed A girl" which didn't have any girls actually kissing. Blah. hazim. Out.

backtrack: the 101 most awesomest songs of 2006!

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 13:22:00 +0000

hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again.2008 is almost over and I'm still a virgin. Rihanna is still on the charts. And love is still good. Here's a past look at 2006. Because I wrote this with the intention of posting it here on my blog but it never saw the light of day until now. So here are 2006's finest singles lined up just for you. Grab a tissue. Nostalgia's sad when it hits...

1:Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland-Promiscuous//Loose
The duo deemed it “the blackberry song”. The back and forth tag team talk-singing and the Prince-era sepia-toned chorus turned Nelly Furtado’s first number single of her into a massive worldwide number one hit. Featuring Timbaland's best vocals to date (although that's not saying much) coupled with Nelly's flirtatious delivery propeles this to the very top of 2006's best of list. Mine, that is.

2:be Your Own Pet-Fire Department//be Your Own Pet
How to compete with the indie underground scene overkill? Just do everything faster. Buzzcock guitars with more bite and the band tumble over themselves. Lead singer Jemina Pearl yelps and howls like she’s throwing a tantrum, making being young sound messily fun.

3:Faithless feat. Robert Smith-Spiders, Crocodiles, and Kryptonite//To All New Arrivals
Okay, the new album bombed (the last one reached number one) but this band has smarts. Sampling The Cure’s “Lullaby”, one of my favorite Cure songs (!), Rollo and the band plod on painting an eerie landscape with Robert Smith’s voice as the perfect backdrop. Thanks to this, you can dance to Robert Smith’s voice again. One of the most hypnotic songs to come since Portishead’s “Linger”

4:The Arctic Monkeys-I Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor//Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not
2006’s best breakout band built massive buzz from Myspace profiles and word-of-mouth. Then they conquered the UK charts, then the rest of Europe, and then America followed suit. It was all thanks to this guitar crunch fest. Alex Turner spits out sharp lyrics with that unmistakable accent and the guitars go whoosh. Who says you can’t trust the internet?

5:Gnarls Barkley-Crazy//St.Elsewhere
The most covered song of the year had Nelly Furtado, Charlotte Church, The Raconteurs, Cat Power, and even Paris Hilton trying to imitate Cee-Lo’s rich voice. Stepping up to the plate to shun Al Green and coming up with an instant classic, perfect melody and all, despite the theme of suicidal tendency.

6:Muse-Supermassive Black Hole//Black Holes And Revelations
Matthew Bellamy makes a big fat deal out of almost anything and blows it up making it all seem grandiose. Making like Jake Shears leading The Darkness into battle, the band sound utterly ginormous. And when he coos “Ooh baby, I’m a fool for you,” you either flutter or you cringe. I fluttered.

7:Goldfrapp-Ooh La La//Supernature
Kylie Minogue may be healthy again but if she ever makes a sweaty, pulsating “vibe-on” song like this one, call me. The 60s vamp is sexy, outrageously catchy, and if this dance floor Goldfrapp masterpiece doesn’t turn you on then you must be a corpse.

8:Justin Timberlake feat. TI-My Love//Future Sex/Love Sounds
At first, I was like ‘what’s so damn hot about this song?’. I was a Justin-hater. To me, he’s just a young buck prancing around in beats laid out for him so he can imitate Prince or MJ or whomever he feels like mimicking (Freddie Mercury’s next…or maybe Grace Jones if we’re lucky), but this grew on me, making me like it better than ‘Sexyback’ and I even almost bought a legal copy of Future Sex/Love Sounds. I think it’s the way this song latches itself onto radio, with TI’s verses, JT’s high pitched crooning, and the synthesizers. Not sure I’ll ever really like him, but this track’s the shiznits for me

9:The Killers-When You Were Young//Sam’s Town
Big ego. Check. Newly found love for facial hair. Check. Despite a messiah complex, Brandon Flowers and his band make like America’s U2. The CD was The Joshua Tree reborn as American and this stormy epic-sounding drama infested single led the way.

10:Camille-Vous//Le Fil
Tony Blair name dropped in a French song? Well, it’s not him singing but hearing a genius French kook shriek and coo a l Francaise name checking the British dude is pretty sweet. It’s only a little over a minute and a half long but this form of Global cool tugs at your brain and lingers. Perfect pop delivered in Bjork style vocals topped off with a catchy melody. Globalization isn’t the same thing as Americanization ya know…

11:Regina Spektor-Fidelity// Begins To Hope

12:My Chemical Romance-Welcome To The Black Parade// The Black Parade

13:TI-What You Know// King

14:Flyleaf-So I Thought// Flyleaf

15:Lily Allen-Smile// Alright,Still

16:Pet Shop Boys-I’m With Stupid// Fundamental

17:Hot Chip-Over And Over// The Warning

18:Clipse feat. Pharell-Mr.Me Too// Hell Hath No Fury

19:Yeah Yeah Yeahs-Cheated Hearts// Show Your Bones

20:Imogen heap-Headlock// Headlock

21:Band Of Horses-The Funeral// Everything All The Time

22:TV On The Radio-Wolf Like Me// Return To Cookie Mountain

23:Christian Falk feat. Robyn & Ola Salo-Dream On// People Say

24:Nelly Furtado-Maneater// Loose

25:Corinne Bailey Rae-Put Your Records On// Corinne Bailey Rae

26:Aly & AJ-The Rush// Into The Rush

27:Chamellionaire feat. Krayzie Bone-Ridin// Ultimate Victory

28:Snow Patrol-Chasing Cars// Eyes Open

29:Cassie-Me & U// Cassie

30:Scissor Sisters-I Don’t Feel Like Dancin// Ta-Da

31:Cat Power-The Greatest// The Greatest

32:Neko Case-Dirty Knife// Fox Confessor Brings The Flood

33:Prince-Black Sweat// 3121

34:Utada Hikaru-Keep Tryin// Ultra Blue

35:Basement Jaxx feat. Robyn-Hey U// Crazy Itch Radio

36:Beyonce-Irreplaceable// B’Day

37:Liars-Let’s Not Wrestle Mt.Heart Attack// Drum’s Not Dead

38:The Killers-Read My Mind// Sam’s Town

39:be Your Own Pet-Adventure// be Your Own Pet

40:Oneida-Up With People// Happy New Year

41:be Your Own Pet-Take That Walk// be Your Own Pet

42:The Rapture-Whoo! Alright-Yeah…Uhuh// Pieces Of The People We Love

43:Damien Rice-9 Crimes// 9

44:Panic! At The Disco-I Write Sins Not Tragedies// A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out

45:Christina Aguilera-Ain’t No Other Man// Back To Basics

46:The Vines-Don’t Listen To The Radio// Vision Valley

47:India.Arie feat. Akon-I Am Not My Hair// Testimony Volume 1:Life And Relationship

48:Taking Back Sunday-Makedamnsure// Louder Now

49:The Decemberists-Summersong// The Crane Wife

50:Mary J. Blige- Be Without You// The Breakthrough

51:John Legend-Save Room// Once Again

52:Phoenix-Long Distance Calls// It’s Never Been Like That

53:Nelly Furtado-Say It Right// Loose

54:The Fratellis-Chelsea Dagger// Costello Music

55:Faithless-Bombs// To All New Arrivals

56:Rihanna-SOS(Rescue Me)// A Girl Like Me

57:Justice-Waters Of Nazareth// Waters Of Nazareth

58:Kelis feat. Too $hort-Bossy// Kelis Was Here

59:Ghostface Killah feat. Trife-Be Easy// Fishscale

60:Fergie-London Bridge// The Dutchess

61:Cherish feat. Sean Paul-Do It To It// Unappreciated

62:Dashboard Confessional-Stolen// Dusk & Summer

63:The Rakes-Strasbourg//Capture// Release

64:Ane Brun feat. Ron Sexsmith-Song No.6// A Temporary Dive

65:Carrie Underwood-Before He Cheats// Some Hearts

66:Todd Snider-You Got Away With It// The Devil You Know

67:All Saints-Rock Steady// Studio 1

68:Dixie Chicks-The Long Way Around// Taking The Long Way

69:The Feeling-Sewn// Twelve Stops And Home

70:The Shins-Phantom Limb// Wincing The Night Away

71:Wolfmother-Dimension// Wolfmother

72:The Hold Steady-Stuck Between Stations// Boys And Girls Of America

73:P!nk-U + Ur Hand// I’m Not Dead

74:Lupe Fiasco-Kick, Push// Food & Liquor

75:Nellie McKay-Cupcake// Pretty Little Head

76:Thom Yorke-Black Swan// The Eraser

77:Kleerup feat. Robyn-With Every Heartbeat// 12

78:The Cardigans-Don’t Blame Your Daughter (Diamonds)// Super Extra Gravity

79:People In Planes-If You Talk Too Much// The New Wave

80:Amerie-Take Control//Because I Love It

81:Mew-The Zookeeper’s Boy// And The Glass Handed Kites

82:Cold War Kids-Hang Me Up To Dry// Cold War Kids

83:The Strokes-You Only Live Once// First Impressions Of Earth

84:Beyonce-Ring The Alarm// B’Day

85:Oxford Collapse-Please Visit Your National Parks// Remember The Night Parties

86:Amy Winehouse-Rehab// Back To Black

87:Keane-Is It Any Wonder// Under The Iron Sea

88:Fort Minor feat. Holly Brook-Where’d You Go// Rising Tide

89:Asobi Seksu-Thursday// Citrus

90:Jenny Lewis feat. The Watson Twins-Rise Up With Fists!!// Rabbit Fur Coat

91:The Good, The Bad, And The Queen-80s Life// The Good, The Bad, And The Queen

92:Figurines-The Wonder// Skeletons

93:Fefe Dobson-Don’t Let It Go To Your Head// Sunday Love

94:Built To Spill-Goin Against Your Mind// You In Reverse

95:Cam’Ron-Weekend Girls// Bad Guys 14 (mixtape)

96:Jamelia-Beware Of The Dog// Walk With Me

97:The Pussycat Dolls feat will.i.am-Beep// PCD

98:My Robot Friend feat. Antony-One More Try// Faster Kill

99:YoLa Tango-Beanbag Chair// I Am Not Afraid Of You And I Will Beat Your Ass

100:The Fray-Over My Head (Cable Car)// How To Save A Life

new tracks up this week: The Veronicas get horny and Franz Ferdinand get funkier (if that's possible)!

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 12:10:00 +0000

hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. What? It's two days to my birthday! Haha...I can wait honestly. Cus then I'll feel all old and farty. But anyhow, here's what I think of some tracks I've listened to for the first time this week.
SONG: "Untouched"

ARTIST: The Veronicas

RATING: OOO
"4Ever" was great pop rock, and these Australian pop star TWINS (that's right...TWINS!) are pretty good songwriters. They know teenage angst and love problems, and write them better than that Taylor Swift does. They've gone all electro-poppy for their second album Hook Me Up (same thing Hilary Duff and Ashlee Simpson tried the same thing to no success), but this violin -infused techno teen pop number has them all horny and in heat, whereas Duff and Simpson often sounded flat with no voice top carry it. I don't know whether this will finally give The Veronicas success on the US charts (If "4Ever" didn't make it, what else can?) but this is pretty good! Listen to it HERE
SONG: "Ulysses"

ARTIST: Franz Ferdinand

RATING: OOOO1/2
"Take Me Out" must be very frustrating for Franz Ferdinand. It set the standard for bands trying to get funky and they themselves have been trying to top it ever since. Their last album was merely a continuation of their first, but this song promises some real progression. And if possible, Alex Kapranos gets even funkier, whispering come ons in the beginning, inviting you to "get high" as his band offer up trippy guitars and drums in the vein of Spoon. Turn your camera on and go Ga-Ga-Ga. Cus it's.The. Best Scottish Quartet. Everrrrr. Listen to it HERE
SONG: "Rain On Your Parade"

ARTIST: Duffy

RATING: OOO1/2
I guess she thought "Warwick Avenue" was such a great single (it is, but very slow...) so Duffy decided to release "Stepping Stone", another slow burner, which flows like molasses on BBQ sauce. In other words, really slow and really boring. But "Rain On Your Parade" might just return her to "Mercy" glory. I certainly prefer this over to Mercy. The stomping go/break beat contrasts nicely with her shrill drill of a voice. And she's got a unique way of pronouncing her words unlike other foreign singers who depend on AutoTune to "correct" their accents. Best thing from wales since...I don't know. But check this. Listen to it HERE
SONG: "Hurtin' You"

ARTIST: Ben Kweller

RATING: OOO
I'm not a huge fan of him or anything but I guess Stereogum is. They've got a recent blog post about him recently. And I only have a couple of songs by him in my playlist. This, though, is pretty endearing stuff for a guy who's 27. It's pretty innocent sounding and pure, like baby seal's eyes. Listen to it HERE
SONG: "Brave Bulging Buoyant Clairvoyants"

ARTIST: Beasts

RATING: OOO1/2
Okay, the video's a rip off The Ting Ting's "Shut Up And Let Me Go" (about the only original thing they've ever done), but the song, rerecorded to better sit yours and my dancing needs. Hayden Thorpe sounds positively glowing here, like he's just won his first wet t-shirt contest. It's like Of Montreal's "ID Engager" actually but less epic. The vocals are hotter though. All that falsetto high pitched goodness makes me giddy too haha. Listen to it HERE

SONG: "Long Distance"

ARTIST: Brandy

RATING: O
First single off her new album "Right Here (Departed)" was a promising start. It showed Brandy leaving her R&B roots behind for a clearer pop sound. But this wannabe Celine Dion song about the difficulty of long distance relationships is just a big mess, one that Brandy's not so big voice (which isn't suited for ballads in the first place) just can't seem to overcome. Besides, the subject matter? KT Tunstall did it better with "Other Side Of The World". Listen to it HERE

snark! i heart los campesinos!

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 09:34:00 +0000

SONG: "We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed"
ARTIST: Los Campesinos!
RATING: OOO1/2
hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. Fuzzy wuzzy Los Campesinos! are back with their scuzzy buzzy guitar rock! They weren't gone for very long. The friendliest guitars this side of the galaxy get all jumbled up on their new album. If you want to call it that. Cus it's really really really short. But I like this song.
"He says he got his teeth fixed! I'm gonna break them!"
Haha. Love the snark. Love the bleeping siren thing going on in the background. Again. Love the snark!
They don't have the most unique sound out there, which will be dangerous for their life span. They'll need to work harder to maintain the pretty solid fan base they have now. The music's bright but the anit-romance lyrics scream louder. And scream it the band does. Wish I could see them live. Yeah, so get their new album. Cus it only took two weeks to make this album. It FEELS fast and furious but not rushed in the sense that they were doing it just to do it. But that they had so many ideas and wanted to get them out before they dissipated. Yeah? So get "We Are Doomed. We Are Beautiful". This song, the title track is one of my faves. it's on my MySpace profile page. The scruffiness. The negativity is positively charming. There's a reason why they have an exclamation mark at the end of their name...Hazim. Out.

the best song on the killers' terrible new album!

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 16:00:00 +0000

SONG: "Spaceman"

ARTIST: The Killers
RATING: OOOO

hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. The Killers have released their third studio album led by confusing single "Human". Many say it's a continuation of the brilliant and ambitious Sam's Town. Many also agree that it's really really bad. Brandon Flowers doesn't seem so confident in his music videos (check the music video for "Human" and the band seem lost with no artistic direction). They are, no doubt, talented. No other band could come up with the brilliance that is "Mr.Brightside" and even Hot Fuss was totally sparkling. More sparkling than their disco glitter ball rock concept album, Day & Age.
But Human is ridiculous. For me, at least, it's like an old man waking up from a coma. The lyrics? Meh. "Are we human or are we dancers?". Yes, that's very thought provoking...
That's the problem. Las Vegas cheesiness creeps into the cracks of most of their new set, but where this provided interesting muses last time. This time, they're affecting the nauseating way too literal lyrics.
But despite that, there ARE bright moments. Bright promising moments that live up to Flowers' Kanye sized boasting. Take "Spaceman" a ditty about alien abduction. There's no desperate attempt to sound smart or epic. There's no wrestling clumsy lyrics for credibility. There's just Flowers and the other dudes in his band showcasing what Day & Age could have been without the pompousness. Perfect piece of catchy new wave pop heaven. The rest of Day & Age can just rot in the desert outside the city of Las Vegas that this potentially Bono-fide awesome band came from. Hazim. Out.

hazim's totally most awesome albums of 2008!

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 09:17:00 +0000

hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. There are a LOT of new stuff (like albums and singles and movies) coming out at a fast rate. I don't know how to keep up with them all, really. Most of them are, of course, trying to cash in on the spending power of holiday-ers. Some do a rushed job (Beyonce's I Am...Sasha Fierce is as fierce as a one legged blind lamb) and some are awesome (Kanye West did a great job with his by the way), while some make you sigh and wish they would try harder because you're such a fanboy, you'd love anything by her, but you wish she'd just push the limit a little bit (Dido...sigh....just sigh....). So, this here, post, since it's already almost December, and my birthday's next week (that doesn't have anything to do with anything-just to remind you...hehe) is cus I'm bored. And I love listing things anyways (that's why I read Blender)...is about my picks for the totally most awesome 25 albums of 2008. I don't care really give a crap for credibility. I put Fujiya And Miyagi over Amadou and Mariam. And Lady Gaga's on the list. Soooo? I just love lists.

Wowee. Like I said, crap to credibility. I love this album. You should love it too, especially if you love pop at its shiniest. This is jittery jolting punk pop punctuated by Josephine's well placed chirping and yelping. But as happy as it sounds, negativity is prominent ("I don't want to walk my neighbor's dog and I don;t want to lend a cup of milk") and schizophrenics reign supreme. Sex is evident, and so is hate but for it to be mediated through such a chirpy joyful sounding album The Raveonettes would be envious of is just plain weird. And exciting. this is the kind of antsy restless music The Tings Tings have been trying to nail.
Beth Gibbons could make the "Happy Birthday" song sound depressing. In my opinion, even Kate Bush has nothing on her when it comes to dreary beautiful voices. Their hiatus left a crack in which the likes of Sarah McLachlan, Nina Persson, Dido, and Jem tried to crawl through, but nothing could fill the void. They were either too eager to please the charts (Jem..uhuh) or too unimaginative to do anything more than just sing (Dido...sigh). So, here it is. Portishead's return to form. Their first album in a very long time serves up more depression in the form of darkness ("Hunter"), bleakness ("Machine Gun") and more darkness (everything else here). Only the gentle "Deep Waters" offers a light of hope, but even that get consumed in the beautiful depression that is Third, Portishead's most accomplished most fully realized album to date.
Peter Brewis tones down the new wave and spit shines the acoustic on his concept album, one which is certainly much much much more ambitious and rewarding than the one his brother released earlier this year (that would be David Brewis' project School of Language). Vibraphones jab at the production as Peter disses wussies in swooping choruses ("Scratch The Surface") and you forget he ever had a brother.
While M.I.A was busy hitting the charts (her single "Paper Planes" managed to reach the top 5 in the US Billboard Hot 100), her buddy Santogold was busy chewing genres and kicking away boundaries herself, spitting out Tegan & Sara pop better than Tegan & Sara themselves (the catchy breathy "Lights Out") to independent stuttering anthems ("L.E.S Artistes"). Throughout it all, she retains her posture and pop sensibility, prouncing around like a lady too good for you. Where M.I.A lacks in melody and mainstream, Santogold delivers. Billboard Hot 100 sees you Santogold 2009!
Dance music can get really monotonous and repeptitive, especially when it comes to all the Euro trash that's floating about on the charts nowadays about half of them manage to make their way to the top 10 of the UK charts). Cut Copy make it an art, offering swooping moody music that leaves you wondering what to do-move your feet, or let it move YOU. There's the catchy addictive "Lights & Music" with a chorus that sounds ridiculous on paper but works wonders through Dan Whitord's knowing voice. "Hearts On Fire" has the cutest accompanying music video ever, and "Far Away" is just as far away and dreamy as the title suggests.
Sign of the Apocalypse: When superstar Beyonce's previously insignificant little sister whips up an album full of smart witty and fun that's heaps more enjoyable than anything Beyonce's released this year. That's the case here, where Solange ditches the bland R&B Aaliyah wannabe-ism of her debut and delves into her own wicked weirdness, hopping skotch on the catchy "Sandcastle Disco" and stomping heels on "I Decide". Vocally, she'll never top Big Sis, but lyrically, she's a hundred degrees stronger and her own honest quirky personality makes this all the more endearing.
Leaving the glitter ball behind and walking into the woods, Goldfrapp, led by the charismatic and awesome Alison Goldfrapp, have a go for a new sound. While Christina Aguilera is busy trying to catch up on the old sounds they used to make, she's left that behind in her Bjork-ian quest for weirdness. She finds it in Seventh Tree, its sound pure and relaxing. Like lying on an easy chair on the beach with a cool breeze sipping on a cool lemonade while watching the sun set. Lyrically, the darker sides of Goldfrapp are very much evident, but hidden under layers of lush guitars and sensuous piano, you hardly notice it at all.
You can only hope critical acclaim doesn't boggle Guy Garvey's mind, cus that might just ruin his band's future projects. Here though, on The Seldom Seen Kid, he lets go, immersing himself in his own growling ("Grounds For Divorce") and getting all dreamy and escapist-like on "Weather To Fly". The Mercury Prize might just turn them into Keane so enjoy this while you can.
Scotland has produced Franz Ferdinand and Shirley Manson. And now they've come up with Attic Lights, True, lyrically, it's a bit muddled, trying to figure out what they mean and what they're saying even. But these catchy pop songs show a lot of promise. Most might take it their country-pop-rock as cut copies of other bands' work from Blink 182 to even The Strokes, but for right now, I'll enjoy it as what it is, a solid album made by restless young people for restless young people.
The Decemberists have provided history of music before, but their way was a bit boring and preachy. Fleet Foxes present music of past generations in a much nicer enjoyable package, their self titled album. But even with all the instruments, the flutes, guitars, and drums, the most prominent remains Robin Pecknold's constantly shifting voice. From falsetto to deep, from spooky to dreamy, he's arguably the most important part of the band. Expect him to do a Gwen in 2010,yeah?

In which The Hold Steady get even more introspective an America-loving, led by Craig Finn. They retain their reputation as the critics' darling and hit the top 50 on the US albums charts.
In which a rerelease makes me look at an album by Liam Hayes with more interest and muse at his honesty and genuineness.
In which Shugo the real King Of Japanese pop, comes up with something, while not comparable to his past works, is just as beguiling with its chirpy tweaks and fluffy choruses about holidays.
In which a stupidly named band (The Dodos? seriously?) combine kick ass steady drumming with kick ass steady acoutsic guitar and Meric Long's kick ass vocal delivery into one big metal pop album Metallica should really try to copy one day. College kids with droopy spiky hair, look no further.
In which a previously unlikeable egotistical maniac sheds his hard exterior to show his vulnerable side. All that techno can't hide the heartbreak, Kanye. here's a tissue and your Grammy. Now boast, dammit, boast!
In which a snarky Swedish pop tart (not named Robyn) makes mock-ups of popular chart songs in her own experimental instrumental detailed ways- and hopefully send Robyn back to obscurity.

In which Santogold and Diplo team up to remix and rearrange their own work into something more wild and vibrant than ever thought possible.

In which a group of color coded obviously manufactured girls form a pop group and trundle over saggy representation from the Sugababes and Girls Aloud to become the new SugaLoud...or The Saturdays. Whichever. Noone asks me MY ideas for names for girl bands.
In which the princess of moody piano pop (forget Vanessa Carlton) splits her personality down into two CDs more successfully than Beyonce has done. One part smart, knowing, and mournful (Elephants), and the other, ferocious angry with teeth bared (Teeth Sinking Into Heart). Sasha Fierce.Take notes.
In which a bunch of outcasts produce urgent uncertain foot pounding gut wrenching guitar punk pop rock modelled after an angry Radiohead. Forget Trent Reznor. remember only Bradford Cox.
In which three Australian instrumentalists with not really nice voices manage to make a nice album with handclaps ("Pursue") and futuristic sounding perfection that is really pop in disguise (aren't most things like that?). Battles. Gawk.
In which English Electronic outfit get more detailed in their work, and less wordy to hit us with an album full of ridiculous rhymes (Knickerbocker with Lena Zavaroni) and even more ridiculous electronic soundscapes.
In which Mali gos global and M.I.A pales in comparison to two extremely gifted people-that's Amadou & Mariam-duh-who leave their ears and hearts out open to experiment and try new sounds from all over the globe. Results are nothing but exceptionally crafted masterpieces in an album full of nothing but highlights. World music has never sounded as refreshing and modern.
In which a random unknown names herself Lady Gaga as if she's already so huge as Madonna, and drowns herself in her own world dirty, sexy, money. And surfaces with an album more enjoyable and more hard hitting than Hard Candy will ever be.
In which an album with neither cats or French people try very very hard to be different bungling up traditional pop song structures for a beautiful mess of high pitched technology tweaked songs meant to soundtrack Muppets:Lost In Space 3.

new tracks up this week: britney loses her memory and kanye goes heartless

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 14:37:00 +0000

hhazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. I've downloaded a lump of songs this week and checked a few others on the internet. People send me links on forums and message boards recommending joints to me...and I decide whether I like them or not! My opinion matters to me. But I think I'm very fair. Unless I'm listening to a Jonas Brothers track. Then it's all death to Nick, Joe, and the other boy. So this time, we've got Kanye with a heartless bitch, Mudvayne being Nickelback, Telekinesis and marine biology, love is all gossiping, and Miss Britney with a pretty solid track.

SONG: "Do What You Do"

ARTIST: Mudvayne

RATING: OO1/2
Mudvayne aren't pop. I usually just keep strictly pop, right? Well, because I DID think their album The End of All Things To Come had promise. That maybe they could move beyond their Nickelback sound and go the Against! Me route. But judging from gruff sound of their latest album and this single, apparently not. You can almost imagine Chad Kroeger's dreadlocks when you listen to it. Listen to it HERE

SONG: "Plankton"

ARTIST: Telekinesis

RATING: OOOO1/2
Michael Benjamin Lerner is still in the process of finishing up his debut album, but he's letting people have a sample of the kind of sound his record would project. Unless you have the Internet Media Grabber, the only place you can listen to "Plankton" is on his MySpace music profile page. I love this track. It's kind of like Coldplay I guess, different than his other songs, but his voice is richer than Chris Martin. And a lot less whiny. This is the song to play Nintendo Wii's Endless Ocean to. Except it's so short (a little over 2 minutes) so you'll have to play it again and again. Listen to it HERE

SONG: "Heartless"

ARTIST: Kanye West

RATING: OOOO
His ego may be his downfall yet. But this track, he second single off his upcoming 808 and Heartbreak is low key thrilling. "Love Lockdown" was great, but to minmal and it pushed his off key singing to the fore, whereas on this one, he actualy raps-the thing he's really good at. I never really warmed up to his last album, but this promises a more clever use of techno bleeps and sounds. Listen to it HERE

SONG: "Rumors"

ARTIST: Love Is All

RATING: OOO1/2
Swedish bands rule! The Hives and Love Is All. Off their fantastic super duper album A Hundred Things That Keep Me Up At Night. This song reminds me of what The Ting Tings could be like if they ditched trying for chart positions and just having fun instead. Great beat. And I'm sure the spelling is the British English "Rumours" but as we know, America trumps even in English. Haha...whatever. If The Raveonettes were still going at it full bore and didn't sound tired, they'd record "Rumors". Listen to it HERE
SONG: "Amnesia"

ARTIST: Britney Spears

RATING: OOOO
Miss Lifestyles of The ich and Famous has had a great comeback so far with a number one hit and three moonmen under her belt in less than three months. This should set the stage for a number one debut for her upcoming album Circus. Except...all the tracks have leaked. Yes. Whether purposely done by her label or an accident, most people who care enough would have probably already heard the whole damn thing. Plus all the bonus tracks. This includes "Amnesia" which has Lady Gaga's influence on it. It's a 50s throwback kind of song, the kind that while not vocally strong (hey, it's Britney) could have been sneaked off Christina Aguilera's Back To Basic's track listing. It's unlike anything else Britney's ever recorded before and most of the things on Circus as well. Except this won't actually BE on that album. Too bad then. Britney reels in her own ditsy persona here, curling words like Fergie and actually sounding like she's having fun. And too bad Circus has to sound like Britney, her third alum's twin in sound and mood. Like she's testing the waters again. Listen to it HERE

album reviewed: dido plays it safe...again..

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 13:57:00 +0000

ARTIST: Dido
ALBUM: Safe Trip Home
RATING: OOO
hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. I am a self confessed Dido fan who loved and loved and loved her last album Life For Rent and No Angel and I must admit for five years, the wait for her third major release ( her first album Odds and Ends) doesn't count. It was a mixtape thingy) has been long and grueling
WHAT'S GOOD: What separated Dido from her soft-voiced counterparts (namely Sarah McLachlan, Jem, KT Tunstall) was the backdrop her voice always snuggled up against her older brother's electronic production. Here, that electronic is almost absent. Rollo's had to make way for ambient producer Brian Eno with a multitude of guests ranging from a Fleetwood Mac member to Citizen Cope ("Burnin Love is the song and he apears towards the last half of it with his signature sit-on-the-couch-and-sing delivery). The ambiance does her flat voice good, especially when she's sprouting personal lines that could have been taken right out of her diary. The very personal "Grafton Street" and "The Day Before The Day" deal with the death of her father. "Don't Believe In Love" deals with her fear f intimacy And so on. The Bridget Jones Diary themes passing by like familiar dreams. This is her most personal work and it's more gratifying for it.
WHAT'S NOT SO GOOD: This album, despite the stunning production value courtesy of Brian Eno can only go so far. As personal as the lyrics are, you kind of wish she'd let some of that gut wrenching emotion into her whispery soft voice. Just imagine how incredible it'd sund. True, her voice is limited as heard on several songs where she tries to pull off a falsetto. But the deadpan Sheryl Crow delivery is a bit disappointing. Especially when there's no electronica or bleeps and buzzes to hide the flaw. This album has no killer sngle and Dido doesn't seem to mind (although her label is trying everything in their power to make it a success a la Life For Rent with their promotional stints with the I Phone and Nectar and 11 short films being filmed and lah blah blah, this album still comes in second on the charts behind a rerelease of Leona Lewis's debut on the charts). If this hits a million, I'll buy another physical copy of Safe Trip Home.
SOOOO0....: Dido does the same thing that she's known for. She's the queen of easy listening. Like Sade was back in her prime. But even Sade took a few creative leaps here and there. This isn't a bad album. The emotional and production layers peel away with repeated listens but on the surface, it's just another Dido affair. And naming it SAFE Trip Home doesn't help either. Neither does putting a tiny laughable astronaut on the cover. But I'm a Dido fan through and through and hopefully, this presents a new possible direction for her in the future.
THERE'S THIS SONG I LIKE: "Grafton Street" "The Day Before The Day" "Let's Do The Things We Normally Do"
ARTIST WEBSITE: Dido

what the hell am i supposed to do with my blog?

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 07:42:00 +0000

hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. I'm not sure what the hell I should do with my blog....cus I've been too busy to do any posting. Yeah, i actually have a life now and it's pretty fun! What's been up? Well, besides watching Britney Spears' new music video again and again and again, I've been doing plenty. There have been tests and quizzes to keep me occupied academic wise. I've had a trip to Kuala Lumpur with friends. I've had my Raya celebrations. I've been listening to the awesome masterpiece that is Chairlift's new album. Anyhoo, I'll post more when I have more time. There's pride in knwoing that I might not have that. Haha...Hazim. Out.

the best song about a pencil!

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 11:25:00 +0000

SONG: "Evident Utensil"

ARTIST: Chairlift
RATING: OOOOO

hazim and the new asymptotes

hey. hazim here...again. The Pixies have a song about slicing eyeballs. And there's a song about mouthwash. So there's no reason for there NOT to be a song about pencils, right? Yeah, so the band is Chairlift. And the song is "Evident Utensil". And it's dance-able, in the vein of Cut Copy's signature sound, but with the voice of a woman who, when she pleas "how hard must I try for you?", sounds both glum and giddy at the same time. And who couldn't love a song with the line "the most evident utensil, is none other than a pencil?". Five stars for this fun song!!! Hazim. Out.

grafton street. dido finally gets it right:)

noreply@blogger.com (hazim) — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 13:18:00 +0000

SONG: "Grafton Street"

ARTIST: Dido
RATING: OOOO1/2

hazim and the new asymptotes
hey. hazim here...again. "Don't Believe In Love" was a bit different for Dido as the lead single off her third album, her first in five years. But it was boring all the same. It was her failing trying to be sexy. The other leaked song "Look No Further" was a bit better, but not by much because it saw her relying too much on Brian Eno's orchestral trickery. Here, a new leaked song, almost six minutes long, called "Grafton Street" hits every spot right. In terms of pop, this is great stuff. It's dreamy and sad. Dido's always struggled with trying to toe the lines between cheesy and emotive, lyrically. But this song is about her father's death earlier this year. So when she sings about all the 'no mores' she sounds tired and convincing. The production is stellar too. The woodwinds kinda make it feel like a Corrs track though...If there were to be a Lord of The Rings 4, Peter Jackson would probably snatch this up. It's atmospheric, subtle, simple, like the kind of song Sarah McLachlan's been trying to nail for the past...oh, 5 years. Finally, something promising for Dido. Maybe the new album Safe Trip Home,will be good after all, despite its cheesy cover (the little astronaut? come on....ick). Hazim. Out.